My dad's girl....

Last week, Mr. Murali showed us a movie, which entitled: "College Road Trip". The movie revolves between a pair of father and daughter. The father loves and cares for his dearest daughter so much that he would plan everything for his daughter. When his daughter is getting old enough to make her own choice of university, he is very disapointed as his girl prefers to study at a university that is far away from home. The climax of the story arise when the father and daughter start to talk to each other, face-to-face and heart-to-heart. The father soon realises that he thought that he knew everything about his girl very well; it appears that his baby girl was only trying to be "daddy's girl" in front of him along the years. After all the comedies and talks between the father and daughter along the road trip to the daughter's choice of college/university, both of them have finally come to a point which they compromise with each other and this had strengthen their bond.

Throughout this movie session, I had tears in my eyes. The daughter was like me, and the father - of course - reminds me of my dad. I am the eldest in the family. I can study well, and I have been being good all the time. Thus, this man that I have been calling "papa" for nearly 18 years has high hopes on me all the time. He would planned everything for me. He would want the best for me, and expect me to obey his planning. In some circumstances, in my opinion, he thought that he knows me well. Well, for me, just like the daughter in the movie, I had tried my best to be my dad's good girl. However, as I am getting bigger, I start to realise that I can actually make my own decision, and I have also realise that not all the things that my dad plans for me is the best for me.

At the beginning of the year, I started to change: from daddy's good girl to "bad girl". Not that I did those kinda bad stuff, just that I have started to make my plan for them to listen to what I want for myself. During the period of time, things are difficult for me and my parents. I would always hide in my own room whenever I am back home, and I would not talk to them if it's not necessary. Fortunately, the situation had only last for 2 months. After that, I found myself in wrong. I tried to reverse the mistake by treating them better. For now, though my dad still thinks that he knows me well (which I don't think so), things are getting smooth between us. Sometimes, I would still have to make up some white lies to him, for me to maintain the image of "his-very-good-daddy's girl" in front of my dad. I know that my dad is making his effort in letting me to make my own decision, and I know that I can always make sure that my decision will not harm me after getting his opinion. It will be hard for him to see his "little-girl" growing up and eventually will not need his guidance anymore.

Dad, I wish to tell you that: After all, I am still my dad's girl, and I will always be. Love you, dad. Thanks for everything. *hug*

PS: It's weird that I would not be able to tell him this face-to-face, for sure! I think most of the children today are in this situation too..
Human beings.. They LOVE, but they don't say it out. Look at how they communicate.. Ah.. FASCINATING~

*wink*

=Yin Foong=

perception

Different people have different perception. The way we perceive others or vice versa defines the way we communicate with each other. Sometimes, i would think, why must we live under the perception of other people? where is our true self? To me, the answer is there is no True Self. The way we are right now is created by the people around us. This is somehow related to the self-fulfilling prophecy. Because we want to live up to the expectation of others; we want to confirm by the people around us; we want to praise by the others; we want to avoid punishment, therefore, we are what we are right now. Do you get what i m trying to say?



This makes me think of a story that is quite interesting.



A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.



This story tell us that we cannot always live to the expectation of others. Although we are what we are because we want to confirm by other people, we just cannot fulfill the expectation of every people. Sometimes, we have to choose. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

prayers

helloooo.... today after so long i went to the Gurdwara (Sikh temple). it was so peaceful there.. man the food was soooooo good. even though it was vegetarian, it was still fantastic. they made tafu sambal, dhal, vegetarian chicken rendang style and for dessert, KHEER.. kheer is like sweet bubur. it was WAYYY better that ALI MAJU'S food. anyway lets put the awesome yummy food a side and talk bout prayers.. prayers are really important. every religion has their own way of praying. it is important for every individual to believe in prayers and more importantly GOD. by praying, you are communicating wit god. when you are in problems, the only person we seek help from is HIM. but but but, don't only pray and communicate wit HIM when you are facing problems. that's is not right. take some time thanking HIM for all you have. you shouldn't only ask god to help you when you are in need rite? that is being METLABHI. that's a Punjabi word ;) it means, when u want something, than only you wana ask help from someone if not Ur not bothered bout that someone.. so ya, you have just learnt something in Punjabi.

so people, better pray ok? don't be metlabhi.. hehe.. have a great day. aaahh i can't forget the awesome food i had just now. im hungry.. ok ok got to go now. peace out.

- simren gill -

Different alternatives?

I would like to share my experience during my football training in Bukit Jalil. I'm a candidate for the Malaysian Women's Team. But I had to drop out from the tournament because of a 3 week injury. Anyways, the women's coach is an ex National Player from China. Although she's stayed in Malaysia for a whole lot of years but she still can't grasp English, what more Malay.
Her English is very broken. Most of the times we can't even understand what she says. But we all have one thing in common. The language of football. Lol. We all understand GOAL! Pass, shoot, kick,cross, dribble and more.
All the coach can say in malay is : Faham? and makan! haha. Makan is important! Though her English is not good, she basically shows us what she wants us to do rather then tell us because its hard for us to understand. Even though there's a language barrier but we still can understand each other through different alternatives. There's always a solution to everything.
-Peace-

Language disorder & human communication

While I was trying to search for some informations to write and post for this blog, I found a phrase written on one the pages that I'd browsed through. The phrase is: Language disorder in human communication. Though I didn't click on the link to check on it, but it had really caught my attention. After second thought, I'd decided to post something regarding this here.

I have an aunty; she is a younger sister of my dad. I don't really know much about her as I seldom talk to my aunties and uncles. The things I knew are: her husband had passed away long time ago in a car accident - she has a son (who is my cousin brother) - she has speech disorder. She couldn't speak well; to be precise, she can't say any words but only sounds like "ahh", "umm" etc. I don't really remember what is the cause of her disorder. There are 2 versions of the cause which pop into my mind when I am recalling what my dad told me long time ago. First, it's beacuse of an accident, and second, when she's in her young age, she caught a high fever and after that she could not speak well, the illness got worsen til today.

Well, the main issue that I wish to emphasise in here is not about the cause of the disorder.
I wanna talk about the way she communicate with people, especially her son.

Since the only "word" that can be uttered from her mouth is the "ahh" sound, it's not easy to understand what she's trying to tell us most of the time. I remembered once when she's instructing me to get something from the kitchen, I could not understand it until my granma comes and tells me what she's trying to say. It's weird that my granma could understand the sign language she gave, but I obviously do not.

On the other hand, the way she communicates with her son is very special too. Once, when I was in granma's house for the festive celebration, my cousin brother was late back home. (PS: My this aunt and her son are staying at my granma's house.) His mother, who is my aunt pulled him aside and I saw them start arguing. The way they argue is not really in words, but in sound. As a by-stander, I could not understand what both of them are "talking" to each other. All I can conclude is that they are arguing, from their face expressions and body languages. "Seems like aunty is scolding cousin brother", I told myself.

Somehow, this incident bothered me for a while. The bond between my aunt and her son was so strong and they can understand what each other is trying to say, without using languge and words! Though my cousin brother looks kinda naughty boy and does not listen to his mother, but I could tell that he actually loved her very much. This mother has brought him up with her own hands for so many years, and both of them had each other during their tough time. It's kinda touch to see how they communicate without words, but only with sounds and body languages, which most of the time others can't understand.

So, what can I conclude from the way of communication between my aunt and her son? Simple, communication does not really depend on words, but the people. Sometimes, even with words, we still can't really communicate with each other, don't we? Let's think about the way some of us communicate with our parents. Get what I mean now?
Thus, as the fortunate ones, let's use the gift we have - our speech and language - and communicate with the ones arround us, in a good and correct way, to show your love and care.
**wink**

=Yin Foong=

Practice vs Rehearse

There's one interesting article that i have read in Toastmaster magazine Nov 2004, written by Dave Zielinski, a freelance writer in New York and Minneapolis. He can be contacted at zskidoo@aol.com; and the tittle of the article is called 'Perfect Practice'.

As previous post i hav posted about overcoming PSP, now i shall be telling (quite) in depth the ways to be prepared in speeches. Well you see, you are given a time to practice your perfect speech; let's say maybe around 2 weeks (according to the foundation course timing), but you will be using less than 1 week to practice, or probably the last 3 days to nail your speech. That; is normal. Even i do that. Well, the thing is, despite any given hours, minutes, days, weeks or months, you will always have not enough of time. True? Oh, we understand you. I know what you are thinking about, we all are busy people.

Regardless how many time left for you before you were to do speech remember this:
Practise, Practice, Practice; then, Rehearse, Rehearse and Rehearse. Chant after me please;
Practise, Practise, Practice; then, Rehearse, Rehearse and Rehearse.

Sounds stupid, but this is the one you have to remember when you are preparing for your presentation.

What the difference between Practise and Rehearse?
Practice: You do it all the time from 8pm to the next 8am morning before you go to school. You keep on mantra-ing and remembering all the lines and texts everywhere you go; toilet, classes, dining table, under table, at the house garden, next to the washin machine; basically even when you are in your lalaland. You keep on practising on your speeches when you are busying with activities. It's not wrong; but it's not the only way to survive your speech. You may remember it, but you won't be good in delivering it.

Rehease: It combines the art of speaking and non-verbal communication. It's more, i will dare say, better than just practising. Well you see, when you are rehearsing, you are on your feet, standing and rehearse as if you are in front talking. You will be using your hand gestures, some eye contacts (with the plants, television or wink at fish in the aquarium), pacing and interacting with the AV equipments. When you are used to rehearsing, using a bit of movement here and there, eventually when you are up on stage (obviously you will be standing) and then you are begin with a smooth flow and every non-verbal communication of yours is under control. It is better if you are going to do presentation with visual aid, you can rehearse with your powerpoint to help you in it. Make sure your presentation is clear enough, not too long and it is easy to read and for you to tell.

Nevertheless, you should always revise after you hav practised and rehearse.

"Too often we overlook what we are going to say during practice, and under-work how we are going to say it during rehearsal. If it were only about the material, we could simply e-mail our presentations to audiences and have them e-mail any questions back."

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Public Speaking Phobia

Are you having this symptoms:

1. Sweating (hands, legs, forehead, any parts of your body or the entire body)
2. Shaking knees and hands
3. Quivering voice (as if you just came out from an ice room)
4. Flushing (in your head especially)
5. Rapid heartbeat (you even can hear it in your ears)
6. Nausea
7. Or any other similar symptoms to it;

when you are facing a number of audiences in various places; class, lab, stage, etc? Then, it's obvious you are having PSP. Nope, not that kind of game devices, it's my own abbreviation of Public Speaking Phobia.

Yes, let's admit it loud and clear. It's most unlikely for you, me and almost everyone for not to have this little stage of fear. Oh come on, you can speak to your bunch of frens all the time; if you talk unintentionally. But if you are given a speech, a title, a limit of time, a venue and a bunch of frens + strangers to speak beforehand,it will be of course; the horrible experience to encounter.

But we all speak, one day or another coming soon, we will have to speak in front of a lot, a lot of people. Come to think again, let's see, if you can avoid story-telling competition in primary school, no way you can take your exams without doing oral. Ok, you may be ok after the oral time, you might then think you can survive in college/university. Then you are loaded with all kinds of assignments which require you to talk; in front of the class, worst still, in front of classes. Sounds pretty scary right? Eventually when you are up into career, you will need to go for interview, and you won't be sounding assured if you talked with a lot of erms and ahhs in between of the session. By the time you are getting married, well, you still need to give toast to your wedding guests. So, instead of formin the best strategies to avoid it, deal with it.

1. Before the Speech Day
Prepare, prepare, prepare! There's no way you cannot go up to the stage, talked and yet din't prepare anything in your mind, paper, PC, etc. Start to prepare early; think about your message clearly; start with a crappy ideas, write down a simple draft, until you can start with an outline. Organize your speech in timeline order, or at least in sequence. You, and the audience will able to remember if everything in order. Because the one of the biggest fear in PSP is "the fear of going blank", according to the researchers at the University of Manitoba. Next, 'write your speech like a every great speech, with a beginning, middle and an end'. Practice then, make it perfect with not only practice, but also rehearsing. What's the difference? I will elaborate further in my next post. After that, you must visualize that you you can and will be succesful in delivering your speech.

2. On the Speech Day
Choose the professional-looking and comfy clothing for you. When you are comfortable with yourself, you can be comfortable with anyone. Avoid traffic jams and being late. You not only being rude to others, you are wasting their and your time. Then sit at a quiet place in a room where you can relax. Take deep breaths (it really helps!); and each time inhale about 8 seconds before releasing it. According to science study, it tooks that long for the maximum oxygen content to get into your brain. Then clench your fist and release it; clench again and then release for several times until you think your shoulders are relax. Be positive thinking, and never, ever tell your audiences that you are nervous right now. When you are telling them, "err..ahh, to be frank, i'm..a..kinda..haha, you know,...nervous. Oh opps, sorry!...Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,..er sorry; good evening, ladies and gentlemen...", you are then tend to a) tell them you are nervous b) you are telling yourself to be nervous. Good luck then; because once you tell them this, you will make them aware that a) you are nervous b) to notice where is your nervousness; hence causing yourself to be panic when people are really paying attention to you. Speak slowly, clearly, and don't eat your own words. When people are nervous, their mouths will be dried up 3 times faster (my own experiences) and later they have no enough of saliva to help them to speak clearly. So drink plenty of water enough for you; 3 min before speech. If you do it 15 min or beyond, you will go to the bathroom pretty soon.

3. After the horrible experience @ finishing the speech
Wheewwww! It was quite an experience right? Most probably you will be ended up like a roasted chicken (due to flushing) with cold hands and feets. Once you finish, some of you won't think any further, but then most of you will think what the audiences are thinking of you, what the lecturer is thinking of you, and what you are thinking about yourself. YOu will begin something like this: "Oh shoot, i forgot the most important line; awww, i praticed and practiced for so many times but yet i have forgotten to mention it!" or "What did that guy with the red cap thinking of me when i spoke about that? Was he bored? He looked really bored, or was it just me?" etc. But hey, if you did your best, you know you can do it better next time. Ask your audiences + frens' opinions; and think and device ways to help you to improve on it.

Have a great public speaking!


Sources: The article: The Fear of Public Speaking:20 Ways to get over it! by Joann M. Mc Cabe, ATM-S, page 18-21, Toastmaster Magazine, April 2006.


Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Friendship..

recently, i read an article that talks about friendship. It says, building a friendship is like how we plant a TREE. We need ......

T rust
R espect
E xchange
E motional support

It makes sense, doesn't it? We need many trust and respect in a relationship. We have to exchange everything in our life with the 'friends'. We have to provide emotional support to them whenever they need us. Building a relationship with a true friend is more than planting a tree. Lets cheers for the friendship we have~

Hand phones

in the olden days, the only way people could communicate with each other was by talking face to face. than came letters. but now hand phones do it ALL... you can call someone and even text them. messages go through immediately. you don't have to wait for a week before you get a message.. technology is great isn't it? the most popular way youngsters communicate these days is via sms. phone calls are seldom made these days.. one uses sms to convey a message and even express feelings to their loved ones ;) not many people have to guts to do it face to face anymore so they make use of technology. not only messaging n calls can be made with hand phone. lastest phones have many different features. pictures can be taken n songs can be heard.. the best part is you can send the songs n pictures to your friends via mms, bluetooth and infrared. thats really cool.

a kid at the age of 8 has a hand phone these days. during my time i had to wait till i was form 3. and the only reason i got my phone was because i had to use public transport to go for tuition. once i reached, i had to report to my parent. if not i would not have a phone till today. hehe.. bye byeee

-simren

Can We Lie?

Let's picture this: Your friend is asking for your opinion about her clothing one day. You looked from top-to-toe, and you think your friend is either color blind that day, or she simply lost her mind on combining that kind of clothes. What is your reply to her?

a) "Why are you wearing that? That clothes is soooooooo ugly!"

b) "Wow! You looked so different today!"

c) "Erm, i've never seen you wear this before. No one i see that has the kind of fashion as yours!"

d) "The tie doesnt match your shirt, your shirt doesnt blend with your pants, so are the belts. And why are you wearing that shoes?"

e) " I like your clothes! Look nice on you!"

Your answer: ________

For any of your reasons; most of you will be choosing option b. You want to save both your face and theirs. But the question is; are you lying?

Is it morally acceptable when we answer option b? We are not telling the truth, but we are not making up stories either. So, is it alright?

In a sense, (common sense, actually) lying means hiding someone from knowing the truth. Sometimes, we have no options but to not telling them the truth (yet). One example is when you are giving the bad news to your family members. We don't want to lie, but just that we are too soft-hearted that we don't want to let our loved one to be heart-broken. However, we can't be honest all the time. You simply don't say someone who is big-sized person a fat person, or a short person, a short person. It's unethical too. So whether white lies are acceptable are not, they are common and we practise it all the time.

How you will be answering your friend will be measured by few things first; the environment, how close are you with your friend, what the mood or usual behaviour of him/her?, etc.

Here is what i think:
Most people agree that honesty is the best communication and to have strong relationship. But in certain cases, people tend to be more straight-foward to new people they meet in their messengers or chat room and people whom they are not so close with rather than people whom they are close with. Because we take a great care of how our best friends or family or siblings are feeling. However, when two best friends or two siblings or couples or parent and child are arguing, they then tend to shoot out everything they are really thinking of the other person at each other.

Why we need to equivocate?
equivocate: to use ambiguous or unclear expressions, usually to avoid commitment or in order to mislead

The sense that we need to equivocate becomes clearer with this reason:

1) Avoid letting the receiver feeling embarrased.
2) Save your own face.
3) Less stresful for the sender than to tell the lie or the truth; you feel much more less guilty.
4) Save the sender from being caught for lying.

"Equivocation is niether a false message nor a clear truth, but rather an alternative used precisely when both of these are to be avoided." - A research team under a communication researcher, Sandra Metts.

So, it is easier for people to choose to equivocate whenever possible.There are still controversial issues on lying, equivocating or white lies are morally justified or not; whether it should be accepted or not. But let use this way before you reply your friend: Imagine how would others respond to your answer when they know what you are really thinking. Would they blame you for not telling the truth or not? If you have rationally balance between this two, then you can choose your options.

Now, go and tell your friend that answer!














a) "Why are you wearing that? That clothes is soooooooo ugly!"
Analysis: You are so mean, or you are in your bad mood, or he/she is ur really really good friend that doesn't care how you answer it anyway. =D

b) "Wow! You looked so different today!"
Analysis: This should be equivocal, but true message. Most people will choose this answer.

c) "Erm, i've never seen you wear this before. No one i see that has the kind of fashion as yours!"
Analysis: This should be equivocal, but false message.

d) "The tie doesnt match your shirt, your shirt doesnt blend with your pants, so are the belts. And why are you wearing that shoes? I don't like it at all."
Analysis: Clear, and true message.

e) " I like your clothes! Look nice on you!"
Analysis: Clear, but false message.

Sources: Understanding Human Communication, 9th Edition by Ronald B Roler, George Rodma; Malaysian & Singaporean Edition, www.dictionary.com

Road communication

When we're driving on the road, it's important we communicate. Obviously we can't speak to each other through the closed windows. Rationally speaking, there's always a way. In this case, we can use indicators in the cars.
Nowadays when drivers feel like changing lanes they just swurve without indicating that they want to change lanes. This happens mostly in Malaysia. Most Malaysian drivers are reckless and careless. Hence drive like maniacs on the roads. I don't mean to offend anyone, but it's fact. If we don't communicate with other drivers indicating when we're gonna change lanes, it can be catasthrophic. It's very important to turn on your signals to let others know where you're going. Better safe than sorry,no?
An example of Malaysian drivers' so called communication is : when they want other drivers to get out of the way, is by turning their high light on and off several times or in other words flashing ( not that flashing okay) This only works in malaysia. Did you know if you flash in Australia it means you're actually giving way to other drivers?
Besides that, another tradition only practiced in Malaysia is crossing roads without using the pedestrian crossing. All they have to do is put out their magic hands and cars will stop for them. If they did this overseas, they'd definately be honked at. It's actually illegal to cross the roads like that there. It's called j-walking. And you can get fined if you were caught.

Well I guess different countries practice different styles of communication on roads. Perhaps it's just ours. Anyway, all I'm saying is be safe. Be a responsible driver and a pedestrian. Remember, safety first!
Peace!

blogs

aloha.. I'm simren. this is the first time I'm blogging. never really found blogging interesting. now i don't have a choice but to do so. =) sorry sir hehe.

i read up a little bit about what blogs are. blogs are regular entries made online. in other words its like a diary. in a blog, people provide various types of information. such as news, videos, discussion on a particular subject and many other things. most blogs are personal. people tend to pour out their feelings in their blogs. i never knew there are so many types of blogs. some of the types of blogs are:

1. personal blogs

2. corporate blogs

3. question blogging

personal blogs

personal blogs are the most common blogs. personal blogs is a personal ongoing diary. personal bloggers put in a lot of effort in writing their blogs even though it is not read by people. it is somehow a sentimental value for them. this is because they express how they feel here. blogs for some individuals are like their 'buddies' but only thing is that these 'buddies' don't talk back. hehe. =p

corporate blogs

corporate blogs are mainly for businesses. its used to enhance the communication in a certain company. it is really useful when it comes to to branding, marketing or even public relations.

question blogging

question blogging involves questions which is pretty obvious. =) you can submit question form or even the telephone..

ok thats it for my first blog. bye byeee..

-simren


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog

Power

Last week, when I was doing the exercises in Ms. Selina's Advanced English handouts, one of the articles inside captured my attention. Yea.. I even told myself: "Yeah~ Another thing to write in the blog \(^o^)/ "

The article brieftly explains power - power that holds people together. Power by means of the authority given, the physical force, the influences, the mind power or will, and even love. Power connects people as power would not appear in only one individual. There must be more than one for it to happen. For example, parents have authority on their child. If there's no son or daughter for the couple, where goes the power? And, with this authority power, children are "shaped" to obey their elder ones naturally, and this had made the parents and children connected in one way.
Now, understand? Do you see the relationship between power and connections of people?

In the article, the author mentioned that, "Power is evident when love is involved, for indiviudals behave against their will simply to pleased their loved ones." I believe that most of us would agree with this. And, I also believe that everyone of us would somehow have this experience where you need to give up or to do something in order to satisfy others, or I should use the word-compromise.

Here's my own one:
Before Sem2 starts, I gotta decide what electives to take for the sem. After taking all the consideration, I took Human Comm and Finite Maths as my choices. My father was happy to know that I took Maths as one of my electives, but it was the opposite for Human Comm. He had been a great influence on me for my studies. He would always plan and decide for me. This time, I had chosen a subject that did not please him. He always wanted me to study more on Science and Mathematics subjects. Obviously, this is not! I explained that I would like to try and hopefully it will help me to make up my mind wether to pursue Psychology for my future degree. Initially he tried to use the "authority power" to stop me from taking the subject, but after learning that I have no sign of changing my mind, out of love and respect, he finally stopped to pull me away from taking this sub.
It used to be an impossible as my father influence was truly so great that I always felt that what he says and instructs will be the best for me. I guess, when children grow, the authority power of the parents of them will decrease. Though I believe that the situation will be difficult for the parents as they no longer can control that much, but out of love, they will accept it as they know their children need to learn to be independent and to take the resposibility out of their acts.

There are a lot to be learned and observed from power. As mentioned in the article, it should be an influence that people should use wisely, and not in an unproductive and negative way.

So, do you now see how power connects people? *wink*

=Yin Foong=

Resource:

Exercise 6 of Coordination and Parallel Structure, Advanced English, Selina Nalini Richards.

Continue....

lets continue my leadership camp stories.....



In one activity which i forgot what is its name,we were asked to go from station 1 to station 4 and back to the 'pondok' when we completed our task. It sounds easy but it did not when our eyes were sticked by something( i dont no what its name is ;it is something like stickers). Every team members has to reach to station and asked for a QC check. Gosh, my sense of direction is very very weak. let me tell you how weak it is.



That morning, we went back to the jungle for another 2 activities which challeged my physical strength. (Ouch, my hands' muscle agree with me.-.-'''' ) The time we finished the activities was 11 something. When we came out from the jungle, i ran although i was really exhausted. WHY?? because of the sun and i m a 'puteri lilin'. And the journey from the jungle to our resort was quite long. I rather died from exhaustion than melted under the sun. That is why i chose to run. I nearly went to the wrong road which means i might lost in the resort.-.-''' i was not supposed to turn right in the 1st junction but i did. Luckily, there was a gang of people who also ran behind me and they reminded me.



Back to the story, i had to lead my team members to reach the station in the situation where all of us were 'blind'.-.-''' Because of my weak sense of direction, i asked Sher Mann to lead us. Wow, he was the man. His sense of direction is just my opposite side. This activity required us to trust our team members and communicate with them. It was quite lost when you have to walk to the unknown place. So, we had to put all our trust on Sher Mann and the other members as we were holding our hands to keep us together. In the mean time, we had to remind them if there was trunk that might block their roads. When we reached each station, we had to put one of our hands on the landmark. So i let go of my member's hand as i had to hold the map in my left hand. (the map was for the instructor to make sure that we had reached the correct station) When we were moving on to another station, i were lost because i couldn't find the hand that i had been holding. Therefore i shouted. Then, one of my group member held my hand. What i try to say is a very simple non-verbal communication which is hand holding can give the basic trust and strength to people. It is amazing, isn't it??

To be continued.....

the Self

this Friday, i went to the HMC leadership camp at the Trolak resort in Perak. It was a very nice place for leadership camp. And i think that they treated us as pigs as they served us food every 2 hours...-.-''' The activity that impressed me was the SOLO DROP. It simply means solo=alone + drop=being left. So, we were left alone in a jungle at night for a period of time which i dont no how long was it as we were not allowed to bring anything with us. As you know, it was very torturing if you were asked to stand at there without moving to another place. So my only choice was to talk to the tree when i was really bored.=.='''' Of course, i did not do so. ( what if i heard any voice replied my conversation??-.-''') But, i nearly fall asleep as the environment is soooo comfortable. what excited me was I SAW FIREFLIES!!! Seriously, i never see a firefly in my lifetime. It was really very very small and u won't notice them if you did not see carefully.

Ok, after so many BLA BLA BLA, let's talk about what i had learnt from this activity. I actually got to know myself more .It was a perfect time and place for self-reflection. When i settled down and without being fear for I might be attacked by 'something' and captured by orang asli, my mind was very clear. And a question just poped up in my mind which i thought i had solved it long long ago. It made me realised that i did not solve it but ignored it at the past. I was very shocked and disappointed to myself. According to miss Debbie, the first person that comes into your mind when you are in that situation is the most important person to you or is troubling you. It was sad to know that the person is not my family member. I always thought that my family takes the most important place in my heart. I felt quite lost when ms Debbie was doing the briefing after our solo drop. i felt very uneasy when something is out of my control. I realised that i actually do not know about myself!!! OH... maybe i shall talk to myself several times a day...hahaha-.-''' this makes me realise the importance of intracommunication because it was freaking scary when you realised that the mind and soul that you have been living with for 18 years are something that you do not know.

Anger..

Are you angry today? Did someone/something pissed you off just now? Someone did irritate you? How did you response to the situation then? Did you punch that person on their face? Or you roared back at them? Or you just keep quiet while your mind is plotting for a superb revenge? Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. Research has shown that when someone is in anger, there are some obvious sign: Heartbeat rate, blood pressure and adrenalin rate increases. These physiological effects that cause you to react towards anger; whether you response by action or verbally. What anger got to do with communication? Well, just about everything. Anger is a word, but words are mightier than swords sometimes. Here is one of the famous story on anger that i found:

A BAG OF NAILS

Once upon a time there was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail in the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. But gradually, the number of daily nails dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the first day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He proudly told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there."

So you see, anger isn't something that you can have and then just forget it only. It may have little effect on you, but to others; the impact may be much more deeper on them. Now, here's some ways to control your anger before you actually hurt the other person (verbally or non-verbally)

1. Count 1 to 10 slowly; or you take a deep and long breath slowly. While you are doing these, try to think anything that can calm you.

2. This is easy: Change your position.If you are angry when you are sitting, then stand up. If you are angry when you are standing, then sit down. The time taken to change your position actually helps because it can reduce your tension you are having on that time.

3. Think about consequences when you are about to reply the anger. When you are angry, you don't think about anything else. Your focus is that : You are angry; you need to tranfer your anger to cool down you. But what happens after that? People who always furious have higher risks in
a) Cancer and heart disease.
b) Weaken immune system
c) Shorten your life
d) Destroying or vandalizing people or things easier
e) Road accident or home accident
f) Being pushed away by friends and family.
So think of one consequence that really scares you. You may have your own consequences in your mind, but make sure it rilli makes you pause for that very moment.

So do you still feel angry right now?


Sources: http://www.wikipedia.com/anger ;
Kuntum Magazine May 2002 ;
http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/anger.html

p/s: if you still feeling angry rite: go take a bath or do an exercise. If you need mentally working, you can ask yourself; why am i so angry at this person/thing? Worth it or not if i waste my energy on this person/ thing? Maybe it will work. If everything that has been mentioned here and out there doesn't work for you, maybe it's time for you to consult a therapist.

Exhibition: Mapping Identities

Initially I read the article on The Star, I felt it will be great to share it in this blog and went online to search for the addition info on this exhibition. It's an exhibition of Nadiah Bamadhaj’s works of drawings and potraits. The theme behind these works is Mapping Identities, and the body of these works is named Surveillance.

Here's what written on the article to describe this exhibition: "A new exhibition shows how geographical maps mark our place in the world as well as sovereignity from one another. Overall, the works are explorations of urban and national terrain through maps conjured by the artist to highlight the arbitrariness of mapping in shaping our individual identities. "

At first, I found it quite difficult to understand how these works can reflect the identities of people and oneself. Truly, you have to spend lots of time in analysing those works to understand what is the hidden identity in the drawings and potraits. And, I mean LOTS OF TIME! Even with the explanation given on the article, I still spent much time to get the understanding. Ewwww~

Here's one of the works:







-The Island

Hmm.. Looking at this work here, do you understand what is it trying to "map"?

Well, according to the article, the identities hidden are actually the peninsular and Sabah and Sarawak. It maps the the cultural and social identities between the part of Malaysia.

I shall quote some of the explanation here:

Let’s consider a few examples; buildings, such as those from Mussolini’s reign are distinctively totalitarian and representative of right-wing politics; on the opposite end of the spectrum, religious architecture is visibly uncompromising with its intentions; shopping malls champion capitalist greed; and places of sport – like Olympic stadiums – are equitable to the silly analogy of a driver and his sports car... ... They showcase that we are all products of our carefully designed environment.

How is it? Do you somehow understand what are the exhibition, the works, the maps and identities all about? Hope you understand as I found it truly interesting.

Hmm.. One question pops out from my head suddenly: "Is drawing a form of communication too? If it is, what categeory should it be? Non-verbal? Or perhaps visual communication?!"

Wow.. Another way of communicating.. Human communication.. How intersting can it be ya.. *phew*

PS: Any of you interested to go? Too bad. The exhibition was only til 30th August. Sighh..

=Yin Foong=

Resource:

http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/8/24/lifearts/1849577&sec=lifearts

RACHEL JENAGARATNAM; Mapping identities; Sunday August 24, 2008.

Ladies..

Hey-ho! Ladies, based on what I've read in the past, here are some tips to know if the guy digs you. It's all about communication. We have to read him. As we all know guy's are usually predictable so reading them is a sinch,no?
Here are some tips :

1.He flirts with you.

2.He smiles at you a lot. =)))

3.He always teases you or makes fun of you.

4.He will try his best to go out of his way to be as near you as possible without being obvious.

5.He sends you flowers. (this is pretty obvious!)

6.He compliments you a lot.(we like that, don't we?)

7.He develops a special nickname for you.(like sugar bear or something o.o)

8.He remembers little things that you've talked about before a long time ago, and brings them up in conversations to let you know that he remembered. (this is my personal favourite!)

9.His pupils dilate when he looks at you. (Did you know our pupils will dilate when we are looking at anything we like whether if be an object or person.)-it's so adorable!

What else? I don't know.. Maybe you guys or girls can mention other ways to know if a guy likes you.
Until then, peace!

Music Connects..

Everyone who are looking just at my topic would definitely agree with me; Music Connects. With who? The people who shares the same music passion together. The one who listens to music. The one who do musics. The one who sells musics. Undeniably, music does connect with everyone. Let's not connect it too far far with the history before Beethoven, Mozart and Chopin was born, but to begin from our very life before we were born. We were entertained by our mothers with their singing of lullabies and their favorite songs; or education through music @ listening to classic music to stimulates baby's growth, etc. When we are old enough to sing songs, we sang children songs together. Now, we gathered together with other fans from all over the world just to listen to our favourite singers' in concerts. Through lyrics and music, we express who we are, what mood we are having, what we are feeling right now. We listen and sing happy song when we are happy, keep replaying the song that hit on us when we are feeling sad, etc. We would also dedicate songs to people who we think they are.

Music is a form of communication; whereby ideologies and trends are set out to everyone in the world. From Jazz in the early 20th centuries, Rhythm and Blues even bfore the WW2, Rock and Roll in the mid 1950s until now we are accompanied with pop, fusion, etc. Music act like a language, if we understand the music, we understand the meaning.

Recently did you hear any form of advertisement in the form of music? They sang songs with lyrics that promote their goods and services. Sounds familiar right? This kind of concept is easier to persuade of the consumers to buy them; because music sticks into their mind better than just verbal communication.

Why blog?

Olaa! I'm Afiqah. I just got recruited in this group today so, I guess I'll give it a go. Blogging is also another way to communicate. A blog is basically an online journal where anyone(provided they know how to blog) can post anything they want online. Oh by the way blog actually stands for web log. Usually bloggers blog about things currently happening to themselves or others, how they feel, what they're going through, or anything random. Matter of fact, some things blogged about can be controversial. We being human, love controversies don't we? So, we leave comments supporting or denying the subject. Plus, most blogs have chat boxes where readers can chat. They can also directly leave comments in the current post.
What we say and how we say things about a certain subject can affect the people around us. Some things can be ambiguous as not everyone intepret things the same way. Some might take opinions as insults. Some get very defensive about certain subjects! Lesson : Before saying something, think it through. Don't hurt people. Mind your words and the people you are directing. Be nice when commenting about races, religions, countries and whatever issues you think will be sensitive! Be kind and courteous so we can forever live in harmony! A dream-I know. No harm in trying though. =)
I'm sure most of us have our own blogs. Me, being a blogger knows how it is to live in the world of bloggin. It's ineveitable that I don't watch my language sometimes too, but hey! We're only human. We can only try to be better!
Check out my private blog if you want. Give me a buzz and I'll invite you!
renderingvoid.blogspot.com
Peace!

Rude Moves

There's an interesting article that i have read in Toastmaster magazine for the month of August. The title 'Rude Moves' is about some gestures (non-verbal communication) that is best to be avoided when giving presentation; in another countries.

1. "A-OK"
When your tip of the thumb connected with the index finger forming a 'O' shapes.
In the US, making this gesture means ' no problem @ everything's alright! '. However, in Franceit means 'zero'; in Japan it can mean 'money' (in Japanese, Okane means money!) and in Brazil, Guatemala and Paraguay, it is obscene.
Mmm...try doing that when a Brazilian offering help to you and see what happens the next second after.

2. "Get the Point?"
a movement when you clenched your fist; but with your index finger pointing out.
It's pretty universal; when you point at someone with your index finger, it is a very rude thing. Different cultures point with their chins, or they extend their entire open hand toward the object.

3. "Thumbs up"
No problem if your thumb is up in the US, but never try this in the Middle West and some parts of Africa unless you want to get a nice whack up or one panda eye on your right. However, if you demand for 5 items in Japan, you may use this gestures =)

4. "Wink!"
Guard your gaze please. Winks may mean "this is our little secret" in North America or a romantic invitation in Latin America, but you may found yourself in a hot boiled curry pot in India or steamboat in China.

5. "A Smile"
Oh no no no, a smile is still not considered the universal language for the genuine pleasure around the world. Nope, at least not in many parts on Asia, a smile can be used to cover up embarrassment, shock or fury. And the French only smile when they have a reason (no wonder they look so serious all the time) and they assume that anyone wearing a constant grin in public is either condescending or feeble-minded.
Oh, no wonder when i smiled at spastic-girl in my school when i was in standard smile; i got a big tight slap. I can't recall whether she was French or not; but the slap was really hurt. Ouch! (lol)

6. " Showing the soles of your feet, or using your left hand to eat "
These are inappropriate behaviours in the Middle East, the Indian subcontinent, parts or Africa and many other locales. If in doubt, follow the lead of your hosts and you'll make the correct gestures.

So folks, these 6 main gestures you may want to bear it in your mind or your travel note when you are planning to any part of the country. The best way is that you may try to read up some of the cultures normally practiced in the country before you fly!

Cheers!
Jaime.

plants...

PLANTS....they are fragile yet strong in another way...

when we talk about plant communication, you might think that it is a form of human-plant communication like asking them to grow faster and healthier. In fact, plants do communicate with each other. Of course, they do not gossip like us. Their communication occurs when they face any threat from their predator. The connection they use to share informantion is known as runners - horizontal stems that physically bond the plants like tubes or cables along the soil surface and underground. Though connected to vertical stems, runners eventually form new buds at the tips and ultimately form a network of plants. If one of the network plants is attacked by caterpillars, the other members of the network are warned via an internal signal to upgrade their chemical and mechanical resistance—making their leaves hard to chew on and less desirable. This system works to spread the information among the plants and to ward off caterpillars. This means the attacked leaf is lost but the others are saved.

However, this connection does have its downside, that is encourages the spreading of the virus. They enter the plant via the leaves, find their way into the stems and are then passively transported to all the network members where they cause new infection.

Strong yet fragile..

Last Wed supposed to be one of those ordinary days at college. Yup, SUPPOSED.

Early in the morning, in the HCM class, Minyi told me something about her granma. She said, her granma was admitted to the hospital the night before. Heart problem, if I'm not mistaken. Sitting at the class, at first, I thought that the incident didn't affect her much. Minyi looked so strong when she was telling me roughly about what had happended. After telling me all that, she and I started to crap about other things. At that moment, I truly didn't thought and knew that behind all the smile, jokes and humour, was a heart filled with pain and fear.

It was until the big gang of us went to the restaurant opposite Mama's Kitchen to have our lunch. Minyi and I sat next to each other, as usual. Minyi started to text to someone with her handphone, so do I. I ordered a plate of Nasi Lemak and a cup of Ice Lemon Tea for Minyi as she didn't want to take any food. I started to enjoy my lunch while Minyi started to tell me something.

"What will you do when your love ones leave you?", she started to ask.
I remained silent and just looked into her eyes.

"Do people in comma actually know or listen to things that you tell to them?", this girl asked another question.
This time, I answered, "Yea, they do know that we're telling them. They listen. Trust me. Try talk to her when you go to the hospital later." Minyi was going to the hospital after the lunch.

"What should I say to her? I don't know what to say.."
Her eyes were getting red, she nodded her head down.

The other people of our gang were busy with their own conversations and food, none of them noticed the changes of Minyi's facial expression. I stood up, grabbed Minyi's arm and said, "Come on, let's sit somewhere else." I took a peice of tissue paper and both of us walked to one of the corridor nearby. We sat down at some place, and I passed the tissue paper to her. Her tears was running down from her eyes, but it was not those terrible cry which girls usually do so. Minyi was strong, I guess. And, I knew, she wished to be strong too.


Sitting there, Minyi started to tell me things about her granma. She said, she seldom talk to her. She likes her because she always give her money.

"No one would give me RM50 any more if she gone.", Minyi was smiling fake when she said this.
It was only joking, I knew. Minyi loves her because she was granma, that granma who loves her much. Minyi also told me that everyone in her family cried when they entered the ICU one by one at the hospital yesterday. She tried so hard to control the tears when she saw her granma was lying on the bed with all the machine attached to her, but she failed. She cried. She was in fear. She was afraid that her granma will leave her.

"I knew when the time come, I would have to accept the truth and learn from it. It will be tougher when it comes to the time for our parents." As I mentioned, this friend of mine was truly strong.
BUT... The word, "parents" suddenly bothered me for a short moment.
"What will I do when the time has come for my parents to go in the future..", I asked myself. I then tried to imagine and figure out what would be the feeling of losing your own parents. At that very moment I was so depressed that I nearly cried in front of Minyi. But I didn't. I pulled back the tears. Hate to cry in front of anyone; hate to show my weaknesses to others. This is a kind of egoism, one of the traits in my personality, I guess.

After all the moment of talks, Minyi finally looked much better. Before joining back the gang of people at the restaurant, Minyi asked, "What can I do for her?".

"Pray. Pray for her. Somehow, it will be useful. Human mind is powerful. Think postively and things will go in its way." I answered.
That's what I strongly belive in: You're what you think.

Then, at around 1.30pm, our gang went back to the college while Minyi went to the corridor near Secret Recipe to wait for her "driver".
"Take care", I told Minyi before leaving.

The story between Minyi and her granma makes me realise: The bond between two can be very strong, yet fragile. As we would never know what is coming up tomorrow, we should always appreciate those who you love and those who love you. Appreciate those who are connected to you. Do not ever leave any chance for being regreted for self at anytime. And, one should always appreciate ownselves as well. Love yourself before you learn to love others.

With love,
Yin Foong.

**According to Minyi,her granma is now fine and in better condition.

Thank God :)

communication....

HELLO...Selamat Sejahtera...I am LIZA...haha, this is my first time to blog...thanks to Mr Murali. i never expect myself to blog in my lifetime -.-''' when I heard that 1 of our group assignment is to blog, -.-'''(numerous lines had crossed over my forehead)...oh no!!! actually, it is not very hard, but I am not very good at writing a post to share with other people...that is the reason that i do not blog...whatever...I have no choice-.-'''..i have to survive from this subject..GAMBATEH!! GO!GO~

First of all, when we talk about communication....what come first in your mind when you see this word?? I thought it is all about talking to people, and a way to express our feeling. It just happens within all living things. However, I realised that I was wrong! Wrong! WRONG! It includes communication with non-living things too!!!! Before the Human Communication lecture, I thought it was all about human to human, or maybe human to animal... I didn't no that interaction with a computer can also be a way of communication too...Communication is the process of conveying information from a sender to a receiver with the use of a medium in which the communicated information is understood the same way by both sender and receiver. It is about a process of encode and decode the information from one thing to another thing. (oh..this make me think of the computing principle..) There are interpersonal communication, intrapersonal communication, small group communication, public communication and mass communication.

Communication

P e o p l e, has always been searching ways to communicate with each other; yes, even since from The Paleolithic Age right till now. One way of communication is through languages. From "uh-uh-ah-gah" (probably that was the languages' ancestors) advancing until the 'proper' language most people can understand; English, Spanish, Mandarin, French, German, Malay, Tamil, etc. Even so, there's always some kind of words, incidents, actions or events that we couldn't describe it precisely. The respondents therefore must understand by a)making guesses what we are trying to say using common senses or b) we have to use all sorts of 'tai chis' and 'hand dancing' i.e the hand gestures, to explain it. That, is what we known as non-verbal communication.

As we are now not only be able to communicate with each other in such an advanced era of telecommunication, equipped with telephones, faxes, e-mails and yes, our dearest amongst all that most people couldn't live without it - cellphones. From a big version of 'dai gor dai' or more commonly known as the greatest grandfather of cellphones, this brilliant technology has evolved into smaller and smaller sizes yet more and more functions engage into this innovation. From the main idea of Alexander Graham Bell of saying 'hello' to the caller on the other side of the world; today we are able to send texts, emails, pictures, voicemails, audio files, and so much more.

However, as i'm not a techny-girl, (i had never PS1, PS2, Ps3, PsP, X-boxing, Wii-ing, or Gameboy-ing since from the day i was born NOR do i care how does an MMS work) So to me, when 3G became the latest topic in the world; quite some long time ago, i don't really think there's a difference between seeing them on the screen and talk to them OR talking to them without looking at the person)

They said the reason 3G is created so that people can talk and know that they are talking to the right person, and for parents to check that whether their children are in the tuition centres or not. People won't be missing their partners because they can actually see them on the screen instead of just listening to their voices. And these reasons weren't as strong for people like me to regard this as the greatest achievement for cellphone generations yet. Not until that day.

This is a true story.

Year 2007: When 3G became global.

One rainy day, I was sitting in a public bus on my way back home. Not long came a student (girl), around my age, who sat next to me. She then took out her pricy cellphone and she started to make phone calls, using loudspeaker. (I'm sure you all know what is that). Not suprising right? But sitting in the bus for 1 hour is a mind-numbing thing to do. So i 'accidently' peeped on her cellphone screen. In my mind i said: Oh! She's communicating with her friend using 3G. Then i thought she was trying to show off with the technology as it was a really a new thing, and not many people were using it that time. I saw her showing her friend a soft toy; and smilling away. To my much surprise later, she was showing some hand movements. Then something struck me. Her friend on the screen has also responded her back using sign languages! The next minute, i was ashamed with myself. I thought; how could i ever thought of accusing people of showing off; for i do not being observant enough to notice that the girl who sat next to me has never uttered any words before?
Lessons i have learnt: 1) Never make a conclusion of one person's personalities if you do not know them.
2) 3G is somehow useful afterall.

Out of so many reasons for people to think of when 3G surfaced in the global communication, they want to make everything into one piece, doing more than just to make phone calls, etc etc. In the end, the whole advancing communication technology still come back with the sole reason of our great great great great grandfather's grandfather's grandfathers' uh-uh-ah-gahs': To be able to communicate with each other.


Cheers,
Jaime.