Music

Recently, i re-watched a japanese series 'Nodame Cantabile'. Basically, the background of the series is classical music which includes the orchestra and piano. It makes me reminded the times when i was in secondary school where i joined a band. In the series, it talks a lot about music. There is a lot in a music. It is not just a piece of work which includes a lot of crochets and semiquavers. It contains messages which the composer wanted to tell us. To present the piece well, we have to know and understand the messages underlying the notes. When it comes to the orchestra music, it is not just the communication between the composer and the player. There are communication between the players of different instrument; communication within the conductor ,the performers and concert master(the 1st violinist, the person who lead the orchestra members). And different tone colour can express different kind of mood. A very great performance can only be shown when there are communication between the players.

life and miscommunications

life is not as easy as i thought it would be. there are so many challenges that one has to go through. at times tackling these challenges can really drain a person. some may even give up. things can get so complicated at times that you just feel like running away.. it gets even worst when miscommunication happens.

miscommunications can cause many things to happen. a relationship can be affected badly by it. sometimes people may not intemperate things the way you think they will. they may take what you say in a whole different way. thats how things get bad. and when they do, we tend to try to make things right. instead they just get worst. sometimes the less you say the better you are. so choose your words wisely. and as we all know LIFE IS TOUGH, SO SHUT UP AND LIVE IT. ( 2008, simren gill ) hahaha..
=)

-simren

Impromtu Speech....

Since we are going to have an impromtu speech soon, let me introduce some tips that i had research on. It actually sounds quite reasonable. Good luck for all of us....

When we get our topic, the first thing we have to do is to relax and keep our mind clear. The next thing is to create an outline as it can help us to keep us going when our mind are blanked. When we plan our speech, we have to plan it according to these points:

1 Examine your topic. Does it lend itself well to a comparison? Examples? A demonstration? Decide on one method and begin your outline.
2 Consider your strengths. Are you best at making people laugh or explaining things to other people? Identify your strengths to help organize your thoughts.
For instance, if your impromptu topic concerns dress codes in school, you may want to joke about your own wardrobe during your introduction, then re-visit that thought during your ending.
However, you may be more comfortable expressing your opinion to others. If so, don't try to be funny. Pick a style that suits your personality.
3 Make an outline. Think of several points and organize them. Keep a great line for the ending.
If you do nothing else, write down an introductory sentence and an ending sentence.
Practice your beginning and your ending. These are the most stressful parts of your speech, and the most critical when it comes to good delivery.
When you are comfortable with your beginning and ending, then practice your body. List several points and find ways to elaborate on each one.
4 Give yourself a minute or two to relax. Wrap up your practice at least a few minutes before you speak. Give yourself time to reflect and relax.
5 As you deliver your speech, concentrate on diction and tone. If you are thinking about this, you are not thinking about the eyes watching you. This really works. Your mind can't think about too many things at once, so think about enunciating your words and controlling your tone, and you'll maintain more control.

But what if you draw a blank?


1 Pretend like you're pausing on purpose. Walk back and forth slowly, as if you're letting your last point sink in.
2 There is always a joker or popular person who will stand out in the crowd. Stare at someone like this and try to draw a response from him or her while you think.
3 Keep walking or staring and put the crowd or audience out of your head for a moment and go over your major points.
4 Picture your outline on your hand or use whatever mnemonic trick you developed.
5 If you need more time to think, you may want to ask the audience a question. Have a few prepared ahead, like "Do you have any questions," or "Can everyone hear me okay?"
6 If you still can't remember what to say, make up a reason to pause the speech. You can say, "I'm sorry, but my throat is very dry. Can I please get a glass of water?" Someone will go to get you a drink, and you will have time to think of two or three points to talk about.

If these tips can't work, just crap anything you can. However, make it sounds relevant to your topic. The main point is keep yourself calm. Lets see if the tips will work in our impromtu speech. Good Luck!!!!

Reflection

What we say and do reflect on ourselves. It's like people know what type of person we are by the way we act and by the way we say things. Usually the things we say most differentiate us from others. For example, everytime my parents asked me what I want to eat, I always reply by saying "Whatever." And when they ask my brother what he wants to eat, he will always say "anything." One day, my mum went to Singapore and she saw two drinks that reminded her of my brother and I. It's literally called 'Anything' and 'Whatever'. She bought it and gave it to us. Now they actually sell it here. I went to 711 that day and saw it.



People say it so often that a company actually decided to create such beverages. The interesting part is the drink has mystery flavours. You don't know the flavour until you drink it. Hence, the name. I guess what I'm trying to say is that certain things we say can remind people of ourselves. Hopefully, it's good things.

-Peace-

WE, as a group.

Well, last Thursday, we had finally finished our Human Comm movie analysis assignment. Hooray~

We managed to get things in the right place at the very last moment where Mr. Murali asked us to make some adjustments on our paper. At that moment, we were just rushing and rushing like mad, just to make sure that we could pass up the paper by 3.30 pm. Things got a little easier as we were in group. Our members helped each other by doing our own parts after the jobs were seperated. Fortunately, we were able to hand in the paper to Mr. Murali on time. *wink*

Group work was always not an easy thing for me as I prefer doing my college work by myself. To me, group work is hard as members in the group will always need time to tolerate with each other before coming to a point where desicion can be make. But, we, in a society will always need to work in group, and that is when we need to communicate. Communication is important as things need to be done quickly and correctly.

Anyway, since Mr. Murali had taught us about "Group" last week. I shall do a simple analysis on my Human Comm assignment group based on what I have learnt from the lecture.

Group size: 5 people

Type of group: Learning group

Goals:
Individual goal: [Task-oriented] To get marks in the assignments and pass Human Comm.
Group goal: To finish and pass up the assignment on time.

Norms in the group:
- All members present on time in each meetings.
- Things have to be done before due.
- Works are divided equally to each members.

Pattern of interaction: All-channel network

Gate-keeper (who keeps the information flow through the group): Jaime

Decision-making methods: Consensus and Majority control.


And.. That's what make us - Me (Yin Foong), Jaime, Liza, Afiqah, and Simren a group. *wink*

=Yin Foong=

Facebook

Facebook. In today's world, it's like "Everyone has a Facebook". I learnt this phrase in a movie that I've watched recently, which is the "Disaster Movie". Well, it is undeniable that Facebook is a quite successful online-networking tool.

I have joined Facebook last month. Before that, when my friends asked me to join, I was quite reluctant to sign up for Facebook (FB) as I think there is nothing interesting. However, after I got an account in FB, I started to learn why people got addicted to it that easy. It's not really about making new friends, it's about the applications within it! The main application of writing on the "wall" on one's profile allows people to express their comments easier. In addition, the "wall" will also displays the activities that one have done in FB. To view these "walls" or profiles of others, one will have to add that person as friend. One by one, when one keeps on adding his friends list, his network gets larger.

Other interesting applications include tagging of photos. People who have account in FB can tagged themselves in someone else's uploaded photos. So when others are viewing one's photos, they can identify the friends of their friend, and then get into the profiles of their friend's friends. Once again, people are connected.

There are also some other gaming applications. The one that I am so into right now is the "Fluff Friends" where people can adopt cartoon pets. After adopting a pet, one can pet it, feed it, decorate its habitats etc. So, you might wonder: How does this application help in connecting people around the world? Simple, people are "encouraged" to pet, give gifts, and feed others' pets as there will be "munny" (which is so-call money in the Fluff World, people use it to buy items, foods, decorations etc.) granted. In every "fluffer"'s (those who use this application) profile, there will be information of other fluffers displayed randomly. Therefore, one can click on one's profile to pet their pets. The network can be spreaded so widely that a fluffer from Malaysia can pet a pet owned by a American.

Anyway, although some of the applications are really fun to play with, one will maybe get bored someday. In the end of the day, the thing that really matter are still your friends that you made on FB.

PS: For those who know me and have a FB account, search me by this name: Yfoong Liew(http://www.facebook.com/s.php?ref=search&init=q&q=yfoong+liew&sid=f49f8b16b9b52e7bf89037731846358d) and add me as friends ya~ ^^
*wink*

=Yin Foong=

Write and Deliver a Great Speech!

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There are few quick notes when you are writing & delivering it, written by Bill Thompson.
1. Breathe, deeply & Relax your mind.
2. Think of what to write in the speech, considering who are your audiences, the settings, time given, and other relevant factors that are important.
3. Talk a topic that you are familiar with (if you are given a free-topic).
4. Scribble some rough ideas on what you are going to talk about, what you want the audiences to know; roughly about 3 main ideas, and don't forget about your thesis statement!
5. Start to develop your ideas in creative way whereby people could understand it better such as making it like a story! Conclude your speech either by calling them to action, motivating them to do something positive, and understand what you are trying to talk about.
6. Arrive early at the presentation area, talk to strangers and get to know them better. Talking to some of your audiences will make you feel a lot closer and less afraid when giving speeches later.
7. When you arrive at your conclusion, do not rush it as it is one of the most important part in your speech, which must have a 'bang' and 'wow' to the audiences and you.
8. Don't forget to smile at your audiences! You make both the audiences and you feel relaxed and less worried!
9. Enjoy the whole process when you are delivering speeches as it is the the most important instruction you must remember. Only then, everything will turn out fine.

sources: Thomson, B 2005, 'Write a Great Speech in 5-7 Minutes, Don't Agonize Over your Next Presentation, Associated Content Inc, viewed 30th Oct 2008,

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Do & Don'ts when everything goes wrong in your BIG day

Imagine that you are going to present your speech one day. You are so prepared; you rehearsed, you remembered what you are going to say, you have everything with you complete: laptop, battery extension, pen drive, basically everything you need to make your speech "a wow". Suddenly, when you arrived at the place where you are supposed to do the speech, you discovered that everything suddenly goes wrong. Your mike won't work, the lights were off, you can't on your laptop, the noise next door are loud. You starts to panic, perspire, running around like chicken with no head searching for whatever you think will help you. In such scene, you must remember a few do and don'ts! Written by Gene Perrett in Laugh Line Section, Toastmasters Magazine 2006, it talks about what you should and shouldn't do when everything goes wrong.

Don't!
1. Don't blow up! Control your adrenaline! Because things do not (suddenly) work that way, you must control how you going to react; in front of everyone else. When a problem arise, it's your problem. Take it as a responsibility and try to solve it, ask people (in charge) what you can do (if you don't know how to fix it). Be like a leader; the audience will then realize that by your action, they will know they should listen to someone like you.

2. Don't surrender to the situation! You must remember that problem is a temporary situation that will eventually go away; after you have solve it. When something happened in between of the speech, don't be bothered by the problem; continue what you prepared for the last few sleepless days and weeks for that speech. Don't let anything distract your attention.

Do!
1. Be sensible, maintain your dignity, don't throw tantrum if you are having problems. You have to remember that you are the focus in the speech, so the audiences will see you as who you are suppose to be.

2. "No matter how, the shows must go on", keep your sense of humour. When problem arises, try to make it as a funny situation which would bring laughter instead of hushes and yawns to the audience. Tell them it's ok to have the problem, tell them you are ok with the problem; and everything will be over in matter of seconds.

sources; Gene Perret 2006, Dos and Don'ts for When the Mike Won't, Toastmaster magazine jan 2006.

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

as time passes...

today, i had a talk with 1of my best friend...we remembered a lot of memories we went through together...and we realised that we actually knew each other about 10 years or more than that!!! i am going to celebrate our anniversary this december!!!i met her when i was in primary school.. Actually we do not rememeber how we met each other.. But we have been became good friends since standard 5. It is not easy to maintain our relationship. We quarelled when we had different opinion. We cried together when we graduated from primary school. We laughed together when we were sharing our happy moments. We shared our secrets. The relationship is built as time passes. As time passes, i realised that we do not need to communicate a lot if our relationship is strong. She can simply catch up what i am trying to say although we do not see each other frequently. Perhaps we meet each other once a month. The bond within us is strong and unbreakable. I hope that our friendship will last forever...Cheers!!!!

Super Sunday

Do you know what Super Sunday is? Well, it's actually scheduled English football on Sundays. Tonight was Liverpool v.s Chelsea. Usually big games as such are watched at places that televise the match for large crowds. The atmosphere there is spectacular. It's where people come together for one reason-to support or boo football teams.

Personally, I'd go to Hartamas Square to watch big games. The food is good, the screen is huge, and they always play the 2 team's anthem before the game. People actually sing the anthem together. It's really fun. It's amazing how football unites us. We express differnt feelings together. For example, when the team we support is at the attacking mode, adrenaline rushes due to suspens. We clap for everything( depending on which team we support) when the opposition gets yellow or red cards, when our team gets fouled, when our team manages to clear the ball, we'd all be screaming if our team almost concede goals.

The best part is when our team scores. The atmosphere is really amazing. People scream and clap in delight. They even exchange hi-fives with people from the same table and different tables. It's like when your team scores, the stranger next to you suddenly becomes your best friend. It's interesting to see how one sport can bring tonnes of people together. Tonight, Liverpool beat Chelsea 1-0. There were so many Liverpool fans compared to Chelsea fans. There will always be rivalry but in the end, we all go to watch good football.

-Peace-

Festival of Light

Firstly, Happy Deepavali to everyone! Deepavali is a major Indian festival- also known as the Festival of light. It is celebrated by Hindu's, Sikh's, and Jains across the globe. But because Malaysia is a multiracial country, it's celebrated by all Malaysians. We are not Chinese, Indian, Malay, Bidayuh etc.. We are Malaysians! I enjoy festivals as such, 1. because holiday! 2. open house 3. it brings us closer.
My favourite part of deepavali is Muruku! I dont know if I spelled it right, but it rocks! If I'm not mistaken, this day is to celebrate victory over evil and the uplifitng of spiritual darkness. That's probably why it's celebrated so "meriah". But then again, what's a celebration if it's not happening? On the festival of light, people celebrate by decorating their homes with lights, they have fireworks, and also have open houses(gathering of family and friends) .
Apart from serving awesome food, the gathering they have is to bring friends and family closer. It's really a great way to strengthen relationships,repair broken ones and also build new ones. Celebrations in Malaysia is beyond holding just one culture together. This is one of the ways we can overcome racial issues. It helps us see that we may be different in skin colour but we are all the same. We should treat each other with the same level of respect despite differences in race and culture. With that, I end this post by saying that all celebrations in this country rocks!
-Peace-

HSM3

HSM3 is finally out in cinema's. The day that most teen's have been waiting for. I said most-I'm not one of them. If you've been following, you should know what High School Musical is all about. It's a story about teenager's in high school. But what's different here is that they express themselves through singing. All the challeneges they face in high school, all the feelings they feel, they express it with their voice.
This show is not just about the pretty faces behind the scenes of high school musical ( Zac Efron, Vanessa Hudgens, Ashlee Tisdale) , it's also about sending a message to the audience. It's their way of communicating with young teens. Apart from entertaining, the songs they sing helps lift up the spirit of the audience, gives hope, and encourages them not to give up in life. Besides that, it shows that you'll always have your friends behind you.
There will always be speed bumps along the way but with support from the people you care about and the people who care for you, you'd definately pull through. It's always easier to remember a song than attending weird self help seminars and reading books. So the way they connect with the audience is definately one of the best ways to communicate!
-Peace_

Speech Preparation

Well, since more and more presentations are coming for this upcoming month; Nov in Week 12, 13, and 14, here's some tips i found in Toastmaster Magazine ed. July 2008 on "the Best ways to Prepare for a Speech" by Christopher Mortenson, ACB, ALB.

Firstly, the 3 magic words: "Practice Makes Perfect". Practice, Practice and Practice is always the key words to succeed in your speeches. By practising, you will understand what you are doing and naturally; by the time you are going to present your speech, everything comes out easily.

Secondly, depends on how many times you practice will gives an impact on how good is your speech. Allocate the correct timing on how much you should spend in your speech; for example, rehearse your introduction and conclusion rather than your content. People will generally remember most about your introduction and conclusion; and if you are prepared about what you are going to say, you shouldn't have any problem about the body content.

Thirdly, it's important to grasp on 'how' you have practiced, rather than 'how much' you have practiced. Find a spot whereby you can rehearse your speech without any interruption; along with your non-verbal communication. When you memorize your speech, do it as if you are presenting in on the stage; instead of just sitting around trying your best to memorize each and every sentence.



Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

10 Laws to be A Great Leader

Here's an interesting article i have read from Toastmaster Magazine ed. Sept 2006 on "Laws for Positive Leadership-How to be a leader others want to follow" by Victor Parachin.

Leaders who are positive will be able to inspire, motive and unite others which then could produce tremendous results. Therefore, to make sure a harmonious group whereby others would be obliged to follow your words. There are a basic 10 laws to follow:

1. Give more than you expect others to give.
A good leader will always help his/her teammates if they need guidance. Therefore, the leader must be able to give more persistence, passion, and solutions in order to guide the members. A good leader will ask people to do the things that he or she will do themselves.

2. Combine optimism and perseverance.
When the team is having trouble, it is important for the leaders to decide the end of the team. HE or she must remain positive and persistent in the tasks given, and must be able to set the right example and experience to the members. Members will then not only respect him or her, but will tend to follow his or her steps in remaining optimism and perseverance.

3. See everyone as a diamond in rough.
"There are no poor performers, only poor leaders who fail to find ways of helping others succeed." Leaders must understand that each of his members have different talents and skills; and treat them as 'diamond in rough'.

4. Express appreciation; accept responsibility.
Some leaders would accept credits quickly, but they will blame others even faster. However, a good leader will do the reverse pattern. They will give their members the credit and prepare to accept responsibility when a task fails.

5. Remain balanced.
Some leaders are ego. They become proud with their capability, power and position in the teams. Therefore, it is important for leaders to remain balanced in maintaining relationships between the teammates and them. Joey Cheek, a speed-skating champion who once won a gold Olympic medal once said:"Keep things in perspective. I've seen the world and met amazing friends through my sports. But it's not that big a deal. I mean, I skate around the ice in tights. What is important is what I do off the ice".

6.Show respect for people around you.
Treating your teammates with respect will make your teammates to do the same thing on you. People who feel that they are respected are confidence with themselves, be able to do tasks quickly and efficiently and mostly are happier and more cooperative with others.

7. Treat everyone as family.
By treating everyone as family, people will feel much more comfortable in working in and as a team.

8. Be a source of inspiration.
When appropriate, share your wisdom; what you experienced and knew with others. Make sure they do not repeat your mistakes done and be able to do even better than you.

9. Stress cooperation not competition.
When a person hates another person, it becomes a competition among them; they always compete in whatever they do in the team. As a result, works become less efficient. On the other hand, cooperation among the teammates and the leaders will definitely ensure the quality of the teams.

10. Maintain a sense of humor.
No people will like to be with a leader who is serious all the time. Take things easy; and enjoy the tasks along with your members.

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

the Power of internet...

since the exist of internet, a lot of communication tools such as e-mails, forums, blogs, chatbox, skype, msn, friendster, facebook and so on have been created. They help us to communicate with anyone, exchanging information with them. And it does not cost us much!!! We can make use of these tools in other ways.
I actually heard a news long ago. A girl who was kidnapped (forgot the time, date and place) was found within 24 hours with the help of the people from a forum. The girl's sister, who found out that the girl was being kidnapped, post an announcement on a forum immediately. Luckily, the people passed around messages very quickly. The news actually spreaded to the whole country in a few hours. At the end, the girl was save because of the help of the people from the internet. Just imagine, can this happen without Internet which can spread the news to the whole world at anytime, anyplace and anywhere?
Furthermore, we actually received a lot of forward emails which ask us to forward the mail to our friends for charity. The every mails we forward can let the company to donate 15cent to the receivers. Most of us actually did this because it costs us nothing.
those tools such as msn, skype .icq and so on actually help us to talk to our targeted person for free. The only thing we have to pay is the money for the broadband which is very very cheap.

so, Without the internet and those communication tools, will our life be so easy?

Slang

Here's an interesting article that i have found in the Internet ehow.com, written by Any Stone, on 'how to understand the Cockney slang'.

Cockney rhyming slang originally sprung up during the 1800s in that area of East London which was within hearing distance of the "Bow Bells" of St Mary-Le-Bow church in Cheapside. Although no one knows for certain why rhyming slang developed, a popular theory is that the locals used it to communicate without giving themselves away to the police. One of the famous movie on slang is: My Fair Lady (1964), which tells a story on how a linguistics professor Henry Higgins (Rec Harrison) teaches a cockney girl Eliza Doolittle (Audrey Hepburn) on proper elocution.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Challenging

Step1

Learn the basic rules that apply to the formation of Cockney rhyming slang. One word is replaced by another word or short phrase that rhymes with it. For example, in Cockney rhyming slang the word "believe" becomes "Adam and Eve" as in "Would you Adam and Eve it?"

Step2

Remember that often only the non-rhyming word is said in the phrase. For example, the rhyming slang phrase for "head" is "loaf of bread." However, you usually would say only the "loaf," as in "Use your loaf!" which means "Use your head." Another common example of this can be heard in the phrase "Let’s have a butcher’s," meaning "Let’s have a look." This comes from the rhyming phrase "butcher’s hook."

Step3

Rent episodes on DVD of "Only Fools and Horses," "Porridge," "Steptoe and Son" and "Till Death Do Us Part." These popular British sitcoms were set in the East End and South East of London. They represent some of the best examples of Cockney rhyming slang in popular culture.

Step4

Search online for a Cockney rhyming slang dictionary. There are literally hundreds to be found listing the rhyming slang phrases that are used in daily life. The dictionaries produced by BBC America and those written by real Eastenders are the most highly recommended.

Tips and Warnings

• Note that not all Cockney rhyming slang is as innocent as it sounds. The commonly used term "berk" – which implies someone who’s a fool – originates from the rhyming slang phrase "Berkshire hunt," which rhymes with a more offensive word.
• Don’t overuse rhyming slang phrases in an attempt to appear more British or to fit in with the London culture. Most Cockney terms are rarely used in normal conversation, even by those still living in East London.

Not suprising, in Malaysia we have created our own shortcuts in language (we are experts of it=)). Some of the slangs are known to some parts of us, and their popularaties are faster thanks to the wide usage of Internet.

For example(s):
1. Perah santan (pretty similar to cockney right?)
Origin: Perasan (thinks highly on oneself)
E.g: "Eh, you don't so perah santan lah!"

2. Go-'stant'
Origin: Not sure, old folks (Chinese) usually means reverse (for cars)
E.g: "Eh, go-stant la you, why head straight?? Siao ah? You want to bumped into the front there??"
Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

3. Siot
Origin : Unknown, but meaning: crazy (used widely among Malays)
E.g: "Kau ni siot ke apa? Mana ada orang guna cara ini lagi?" (Are you crazy/nuts? Where got people use this method already?"

For more, talk to Malaysian=)

Sources; http://www.manythings.org/slang/
http://www.ehow.com/how_2071022_understand-cockney-rhyming-slang.html

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Uh Huh....

According to Understanding Human Communication 9th Edition textbook (page 143, chapter 4-listening), Prompting is considered one of the important elements in emphatic listening, which to me, is very interesting fact to know that. I do not know that by just 'uh huh, oh i see, etc' could actually helps a person out; to solve his/her problem. Though other elements of emphatic listening are just as important, but most of them uses long explanations and sentences to tell the other person that 'I am listening to you'. Right? That's just my opinion, though. Prompting of course, is used 'when you can't help others to make a decision'. In some cases, there are certain things you must know when you are trying to help a person out; make sure you give your opinion and advices by weighing both strengths and weaknesses of the choices or dilemmas your friend is having. Do you realize that when some of your friends ask an opinion of choosing something (for example a course), you will tend to give one sided-opinion. Notice this type of conversation:

A: Hey B, i don't know which to choose. This course or that course?
B: Hmm...oh well, what do you think?
A: This course's interests me but i'm afraid of the bad side. I like that course which gives an advantage in my future career, but i don't really into that course's contents. So, how? What do you think?
B: Well, why don't you just try B? I think B is good because..bla...bla...bla.......Oh well, i don't really know. You choose what do you think you like.
A:.....I don't know..

Sometimes, you can see whether is it suitable for you to give an opinion or better to let them decide by themselves.

A: Hey B, i don't know which to choose. This course or that course? Each of them has their own goods and bads.
B: Uh huh.
A: This course's interests me but i'm afraid of the bad side. I like that course which gives an advantage in my future career, but i don't really into that course's contents. So, how? What do you think?
B: Hmm, i see. Well, what do you think?
A: This course, you see, really nice, it provides bla..bla..bla......but, oh...i don't know. Many people said A isn't good. So how?
B: I'm not sure too. But make sure you think carefully which to choose.
A: Hmm...
A: I think i will choose this course.
B: Really?
A: (silence) Yeah, i will choose this course. I don't want to later regret about it; who cares what other people think, right?

However; becareful of selecting your prompting usage (mechanical prompting):

A: Hey B, i don't know which to choose. This course or that course? Each of them has their own goods and bads.
B: Uh huh.
A: This course's interests me but i'm afraid of the bad side. I like that course which gives an advantage in my future career, but i don't really into that course's contents. So, how? What do you think?
B: Uh huh.
A: This course, you see, really nice, it provides bla..bla..bla......but, oh...i don't know. Many people said A isn't good. So how?
B: Hmm..
A: So, what do u think? This or what?
B: Hmm......
A: (angry) You know what? I better ask a wall's opinion than asking you! (Walks away)
B:(huh?) What have i done?

By letting people deciding on their own, (nope, it doesn't really make you an irresponsible person though) you will make people have their confidence in deciding their own choice and take responsibility in what they have chosen. People who generally made their own decision do not regret of what they have chosen, because they know it's their own choice. (They can't really blame other people, right?=D) In short, you made them think for themselves.And most people who made their own decisions are less stressful and more happier.

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

What is in a name?

In communication, name resembles an identity, to differentiate one another, to give oneself a sort of recognition in this world. Names have their own strengths, weaknesses and meanings lie behind it. You can see the meanings of the names everywhere; especially in bookstores or gift shops which sell key chain engraved with names and the meaning of the names. There are some questions that popped up in my mind though; how on earth do they know the meaning of the names? A couple of books on the market actually list out the baby names and their origins. Take for example, one of the common popular name listed: John. Originated from Hebrew, it carries the meaning "God is Gracious"and was the name of the longest-lived of the 12 apostle, who was especially loved by Christ. However, if you just look at the key chains, you can even find the typical attitude that most 'Johns' have. For instance, they are smart, outgoing and nice people, only with more specific details. People who wrote this attitude of 'John' may had made his conclusion by analyzing the attitudes of actors John Gielgud, John Barrymore, John Wayne, John Cusack, John Leguizamo, Johnny Depp; US Presidents John F. Kennedy, John Tyler, John Adams, John Quincy Adams; poet John Donne; Beatle John Lennon; composer Johannes Bach; football player John Elway; lawyer Johnnie Cochrane and interviewed other 'Johns' and its 85 variant forms. And suprising enough, most people with the name 'John' possess the same kind of characteristics.

In addition, because most people have this kind of perception, they tend to assume people with same name have same kind of attitude (similar face also plays a role), right? For example, if a girl is dumped by her boyfriend with the name X; next time when she meets anyone with the name 'X', she will be sceptical about the person!

Furthermore, you will find that some people have trouble to remember one's names. Unless you are familiar with their origins, (like chinese names) you will tend to forget their names. Some are not. But most of people (including me) are. To make life easier, when one find out people have trouble pronouncing their name, they tend to shorten it; "Hi, my name is xyzcbvgdserie......just call me X." Right?

Anyway, there is one complicated name: Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam or Aliaune Thiam in short. Guess who is he?

Answer

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Do it smart!

Since its nearing midterm exams, I guess I'll share an interesting story that I'm sure most people have gone through before in high school. It's about cheating during exams. Nowadays, most high school students cheat during exams. I'm not saying all but most. Ofcourse I was one of them. During my highschool days I was one of those students who would communicate with friends during exams. It's not just about copying another person, it's more of the thrill of communicating without getting caught.
To clarify something, I don't like copying so you don't have to keep an eye on me during exams Mr. Murali! =P Mostly I'm the one who supply answers. Anyway, it's hard to copy for essays and short answer questions,however, it's not impossible but it's easy to copy for MCQ. And ofcourse I've never been caught copying or supplying answers. Here's how we'd do it :
Before the exam, we would come up with different signs and ways of determining different alphabets for MCQ. Important note * We never use the same signs for the next papers* It's to avoid suspicion. If the teacher notices us doing the same thing for every exam then they'd know our devious schemes. Some examples are:
1. We'd either scratch our head for 'A', stretch backwards for 'B', drop a pencil for 'C' or yawn for 'D'.
2. Tap on different corners of the table for different letters.
3. Using other creative signs for diffrent letters.
4. We've even tried SMS-ing each other. Cool right. Sms-ing is usually for short answer questions.
5. Some people actually hid tiny notes or wrote on the table. Usually they'd hide books in the toilets.

But as time goes by the teachers got smarter and always checked our tables and toilets for notes. Haha. By the way, I'm not encouraging copying. I'm just saying that we communicate for different reasons and well, inevitably cheating is one of them. Well, before you conclude that I'm a useless student, I don't like copying just to be on top of the class. There's no point in getting good grades if you didn't put any effort in studying. I like making stupid signs to my friends because I get bored easily and I just can't sit still without doing anything for hours. Plus, its fun and exciting and certainly a normal human reaction to do something when someone says you can't. In this case, it's fun to talk and turn our heads during exams when we are told to sit still. Anyway, good luck for exams!
-Peace-

The Right Speech!!!!

Yesterday when i was reading a blog, one of the passage in the blog reminded me of my friend's problem. She is having problems with her boyfriend. Maybe because they are too close to each other, the boyfriend starts to be very 'honest' to his girlfriend. Note that i am not trying to say being honest to your girlfriend is not good, but you should be able to choose what can be said. A few months ago, her boyfriend's ex had broken up with her boyfriend. Then she turned to my friend's boyfriend to talk. And very 'luckily', my friend saw their msn conversation which caused them to have a small fight. My friend actually asked him if they were not together, would he be together with his ex again?? Then her boyfriend answered 'SURE!!!' This happened a few months ago. Recently, her boyfriend starts to compare she and his ex. For example, 'both of you like to drink this or both of you like to....' So, do any girlfriend can stands her boyfriend keep mentioning his ex in front of her?? What i am trying to say is a correct speech is very important to maintain a relationship. Maybe you are not meant to hurt the person beside you, but one man's meat can be another person's poison! A word can make a big difference in a relationship.

The passage from the blog is as follow:

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A woman and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily!>Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."
She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.

baby communication

babies! as a baby starts to form in its mothers stomach, communication starts.. how is this possible? all mothers talk to their soon to be born child. it starts from the very beginning. once the baby is born, the mother talks to her child but she does not get any response. babies communicate in a different way.. as we no the famous GU GU GA GA. =)

how do babies communicate??? babies are born with the ability to cry.. that's the way they communicate. when babies cry, its an indication that something is wrong. they could be hungry, feeling cold, wet bottom etc.. crying is not the only way they communicate.. babies smile.. when they smile, it shows they are happy. everyone loves to see a baby smile and laugh.. after a few months, the baby starts to make sounds. and eventually they start to say a few words.. from then on communication between the baby and parents will be much easier.. its really interesting how this works..

-simren

Perception

I know.. It's one of those perception-blogs AGAIN! Yes, I know many of us have written the same thing, but I have just discovered my story to write and I gotta write it down! Sighh.. Seems like we, human always perceive people, right?

My story goes like this..

Last Saturday, my family and I went to Genting for a one-day-trip. After having our dinner at the Theme Park Hotel, my aunt, my younger sister and I went to the toilet. While I was washing my hands, I saw one "guy" walked in. You might wonder "guy?!". Yup, that girl was 99.99% looked like a he rather than a she! What I did was only glanced at her once, and I walked out from the toilet and went back to the restaurant, leaving my sis and my aunt behind.

Minutes later, my aunt and my sis were backed to their seats too. Seconds after settling down, my aunt quickly tell my mom that she saw a guy in the toilet. I interrupted their conversation by saying: "No lar~ That's a girl!" "But that fellow looked like a guy!" "It's a girl lar!!", I was pretty sure that the "guy" my aunt mentioned is actually a girl. My aunt replied, "Well, she looks like a boy.. And, I thought she was..".

After the meal, my family walked out from the restaurant. Suddenly, my little brother grabbed my hand and said: "Jie~(PS: Jie is a Chinese word which means elder sister:)) Look! Two guys..". He was pointing to a couple who are holding hands, passing by in front of us. "The red shirt fellow is a girl lar!!", I repeated the same whole thing that I've told my aunt. My dad was in shock too after knowing the "guy" was actually a girl. Well, actually my whole family, except for my sister and I, were shocked to know that they have perceived someone.

Wondering why don't my elder sister and I have the same perception as my other family members do? Simply because we have seen many girls dressing like guys in our secondary school life! (PS: Both of us studied in a girl secondary school which have quite a number of students who are short hair, wear only T-shirt and jeans, dislike skirts and make ups etc. Some people called them 'Tom-boy', which I think is a very rude way of perceiving others.) And, because of this, we tend to not perceive these people wrongly as we understand that this is their way of dressing. Well, in my opinion, people that are from girl schools like us can differentiate better between girls who are in guys' outfit and guys who have 'girl-ly' kinda looking. *wink*

My conclusion is: We should not perceive others, but most of the time we do!
I think, somehow, this is the way our society works. Like what Liza mentioned in her last blog entry: The way we perceive others or vice versa defines the way we communicate with each other.

=Yin Foong=

Conflict-ation

The text book "Understanding Human Communication, 9th Edition" by Ronald B. Adler and George Rodman told almost everything on conflicts: Characteristics, What Causes and the Effects, What type of conflicts, how to identify conflicts, how to solve conflicts, how to avoid conflicts; but they din touch on the most important part in conflict: What to do if everything stated in the book fails? Nope, it's not your problem, it's not the author problem, but sometimes, somehow, you will bump into a person who just simply won't negotiate you. Ahaa! I have found an interesting article on helping to overcome this situation if it happens to you (God forbade).

Of there is 5 ways to identify styles of conflict and 5 ways of knowing characteristics of an assertive message, then you have 5 ways to do if 'they simply won't negotiate with you'.

1.Don't React (First).
Step back and then look at the whole big picture. Identify your interests and just focus on your goal. Don't get mad, don't get even, just negotiate for what you want.

2. Step to Their Side
What if you are wrong even at the first place? So you must listen actively and try to agree when you can. You have to please them first before you can get what you want. Once they are pleased, everything are much easier to do. Acknowledge your opponents, his/her views and feelings. Try to express your views without provoking and then create a favorable climate for negotiation. Maybe invite them for lunch or dinner, or treat them a nice cup of cold cappucino (because you won't want a hot one to be split on your face if everything doesn't goes your way).

3. So they don't still on their opinions, you are still on yours'.
Change the way of playing it. Ask problem solving questions. Ask them for advice if possible. The questions will be "Why?", "Why not?", "What if?" If both of you can see that which questions better suit for the answers, head for it. As long everything make more sense than the others, who who cares it's who's ideas?

4. Make it easy to say "YES".
Sounds quite easy, but it's actually tough. You will have to get around the obstacles by involving your opponents. You will have to satisfy your opponent's unment interests and help your opponent save face. Do it slow, but surely.

5. Make it hard to say "NO".
This is the tricky part. You must know the consequences; let your opponent know the consequences. What if you don't go this way, then the most distrastrous outcome will be. Both of you must understand that mutual satisfaction is more important than victory.

Sources: Options Unlimited (1991) Adapted from Getting Past No by William Ury.

Liew Hui Qing (Jaime)

Group and You..

Here's another interesting article that i have found in Toastmaster Magazine; March 2006 on managing your teams. Well, in almost every courses available in foundation, there are at least one group assignment per subject, right? Sometimes you are lucky to be given a priority to choose your group partners, but sometimes you are not. That's where everyone thinks so. However, sometimes, even when you are 'lucky' to choose your own groups, when you are facing conflicts within the group, you couldn't complain to your lecturers, because this is what they(most of them) will say: "I have given you this priority to choose your own groups. You choose your own group members, you deal with your own members yourself." On the other hand, don't really think you can blame the lecturers when they assigned you to different members you don't know. Because this is what they will say "This is life. Deal with it." Strange, but true. So, in short, either way, you couldn't complain. (well, you could, but lecturer don't really bother to help you, unless it is a serious case) You will sail smoothly in your foundation year if you met and teamed up with really, seriously, nice and hardworking members. But if you are not, then, deal with it one way or another. However, the whole group is entitled to one project. Either we work together or we work separately together, it's still a group in the end. It's a dependent situation which we have to bear, not just in your foundation, but later on in your degree and your postgraduates, works, and basically; life. But what causes that really bring your team down?

1. There is no trust in anyone in the group.
You don't trust that guy to do his work, you don't let him DO it. That girl may be dissatisfied with your work, then she changed your work (which you do it with your blood, sweat and tears) without your permission. That is when conflicts arise. There's no trust element in your groups. To bring up the trust element, you must first be open and be honest. If there's something not right in their work (or maybe them), voice it out in proper way (apply the chapter 7 in maintaining relationship). When people are truly comfortable being exposed to one other, they will begin to do their parts eventually.

2. Hate conflicts to happen in the group.
Everyone hates conflicts. It is a group assignment, you have your best friend in it. You don't wan to create arguments (what more a conflict) with him/her, thus in the end the team will be ended up with the same problems again and again. Therefore, when problems arise, deal with it quickly before the problems turn into a major barrier for your group assignments. This way, your group members and you will not be bothered by the problems.

3. Lack of commitment.
This always, and most fearful one (i guess) by any members especially when you are assigned to a strange bunch of members. However, the real cause of lacking commitments can be solved when each members are given opportunity to voice out and to be heard of. Other ways to make the member committed, well; make sure they understand that cooperation must be done in order to achieve a satisfactory results. (e.g. to pass/credit/distinction/high distinction in the subject)When everyone in the group is committed, it is pretty difficult for the team to have bad results. At least, if you din't get the results expected, you know you are great team members, because you are IN the team.

4. Avoiding accountability
You are trying to be nice here. You are afraid to call your friend to do extra work because you scared that your friend will be unhappy and everything suddenly falls apart. Patrick Lecioni (a management consultant and author of the bestselling book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, A Leadership Fable) said "Ironically, this only causes the relationship to deteriorate, as team members begin to resent one another for not living up to expectations and for allowing standards to erode". Which means that, if you have everything to be done by youself, others might think that you think that they are not capable of doing the work.

5. Inattention to results
Which means, "I don't care how the end product of this assignment will be" and some sort examples that are align with the sentence. In contrast, some members may place their individual needs above your team's true goal. Unfortunately, when this element appears in your group, the other 4 elements come about.


Liew Hui Qing (Jaime)

Rain melts( A Becca Fox Poem)

This is a story of two people in love. How they communicate and show their love for each other. She writes him a lovely poem. It's really sweet. Indicating what she wants to do with him. They can go dancing =) I assume they both like to dance as she wrote it in the poem. Perhaps one would like to do what the other half likes in any kind of weather-be it rain or snow. Anyway, he takes the poem and turns it into a song. He sings what she wrote to send back the message to her. His beautiful voice is so mesmerizing that I think any girl can undertsand the message just by listening to his voice. It's interesting how people communicate in different ways. In this case, one writes her love while he voices his. I picked up the video on Youtube. Enjoy!

-peace-

My dad's girl....

Last week, Mr. Murali showed us a movie, which entitled: "College Road Trip". The movie revolves between a pair of father and daughter. The father loves and cares for his dearest daughter so much that he would plan everything for his daughter. When his daughter is getting old enough to make her own choice of university, he is very disapointed as his girl prefers to study at a university that is far away from home. The climax of the story arise when the father and daughter start to talk to each other, face-to-face and heart-to-heart. The father soon realises that he thought that he knew everything about his girl very well; it appears that his baby girl was only trying to be "daddy's girl" in front of him along the years. After all the comedies and talks between the father and daughter along the road trip to the daughter's choice of college/university, both of them have finally come to a point which they compromise with each other and this had strengthen their bond.

Throughout this movie session, I had tears in my eyes. The daughter was like me, and the father - of course - reminds me of my dad. I am the eldest in the family. I can study well, and I have been being good all the time. Thus, this man that I have been calling "papa" for nearly 18 years has high hopes on me all the time. He would planned everything for me. He would want the best for me, and expect me to obey his planning. In some circumstances, in my opinion, he thought that he knows me well. Well, for me, just like the daughter in the movie, I had tried my best to be my dad's good girl. However, as I am getting bigger, I start to realise that I can actually make my own decision, and I have also realise that not all the things that my dad plans for me is the best for me.

At the beginning of the year, I started to change: from daddy's good girl to "bad girl". Not that I did those kinda bad stuff, just that I have started to make my plan for them to listen to what I want for myself. During the period of time, things are difficult for me and my parents. I would always hide in my own room whenever I am back home, and I would not talk to them if it's not necessary. Fortunately, the situation had only last for 2 months. After that, I found myself in wrong. I tried to reverse the mistake by treating them better. For now, though my dad still thinks that he knows me well (which I don't think so), things are getting smooth between us. Sometimes, I would still have to make up some white lies to him, for me to maintain the image of "his-very-good-daddy's girl" in front of my dad. I know that my dad is making his effort in letting me to make my own decision, and I know that I can always make sure that my decision will not harm me after getting his opinion. It will be hard for him to see his "little-girl" growing up and eventually will not need his guidance anymore.

Dad, I wish to tell you that: After all, I am still my dad's girl, and I will always be. Love you, dad. Thanks for everything. *hug*

PS: It's weird that I would not be able to tell him this face-to-face, for sure! I think most of the children today are in this situation too..
Human beings.. They LOVE, but they don't say it out. Look at how they communicate.. Ah.. FASCINATING~

*wink*

=Yin Foong=

perception

Different people have different perception. The way we perceive others or vice versa defines the way we communicate with each other. Sometimes, i would think, why must we live under the perception of other people? where is our true self? To me, the answer is there is no True Self. The way we are right now is created by the people around us. This is somehow related to the self-fulfilling prophecy. Because we want to live up to the expectation of others; we want to confirm by the people around us; we want to praise by the others; we want to avoid punishment, therefore, we are what we are right now. Do you get what i m trying to say?



This makes me think of a story that is quite interesting.



A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them.

Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.



This story tell us that we cannot always live to the expectation of others. Although we are what we are because we want to confirm by other people, we just cannot fulfill the expectation of every people. Sometimes, we have to choose. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

prayers

helloooo.... today after so long i went to the Gurdwara (Sikh temple). it was so peaceful there.. man the food was soooooo good. even though it was vegetarian, it was still fantastic. they made tafu sambal, dhal, vegetarian chicken rendang style and for dessert, KHEER.. kheer is like sweet bubur. it was WAYYY better that ALI MAJU'S food. anyway lets put the awesome yummy food a side and talk bout prayers.. prayers are really important. every religion has their own way of praying. it is important for every individual to believe in prayers and more importantly GOD. by praying, you are communicating wit god. when you are in problems, the only person we seek help from is HIM. but but but, don't only pray and communicate wit HIM when you are facing problems. that's is not right. take some time thanking HIM for all you have. you shouldn't only ask god to help you when you are in need rite? that is being METLABHI. that's a Punjabi word ;) it means, when u want something, than only you wana ask help from someone if not Ur not bothered bout that someone.. so ya, you have just learnt something in Punjabi.

so people, better pray ok? don't be metlabhi.. hehe.. have a great day. aaahh i can't forget the awesome food i had just now. im hungry.. ok ok got to go now. peace out.

- simren gill -

Different alternatives?

I would like to share my experience during my football training in Bukit Jalil. I'm a candidate for the Malaysian Women's Team. But I had to drop out from the tournament because of a 3 week injury. Anyways, the women's coach is an ex National Player from China. Although she's stayed in Malaysia for a whole lot of years but she still can't grasp English, what more Malay.
Her English is very broken. Most of the times we can't even understand what she says. But we all have one thing in common. The language of football. Lol. We all understand GOAL! Pass, shoot, kick,cross, dribble and more.
All the coach can say in malay is : Faham? and makan! haha. Makan is important! Though her English is not good, she basically shows us what she wants us to do rather then tell us because its hard for us to understand. Even though there's a language barrier but we still can understand each other through different alternatives. There's always a solution to everything.
-Peace-

Language disorder & human communication

While I was trying to search for some informations to write and post for this blog, I found a phrase written on one the pages that I'd browsed through. The phrase is: Language disorder in human communication. Though I didn't click on the link to check on it, but it had really caught my attention. After second thought, I'd decided to post something regarding this here.

I have an aunty; she is a younger sister of my dad. I don't really know much about her as I seldom talk to my aunties and uncles. The things I knew are: her husband had passed away long time ago in a car accident - she has a son (who is my cousin brother) - she has speech disorder. She couldn't speak well; to be precise, she can't say any words but only sounds like "ahh", "umm" etc. I don't really remember what is the cause of her disorder. There are 2 versions of the cause which pop into my mind when I am recalling what my dad told me long time ago. First, it's beacuse of an accident, and second, when she's in her young age, she caught a high fever and after that she could not speak well, the illness got worsen til today.

Well, the main issue that I wish to emphasise in here is not about the cause of the disorder.
I wanna talk about the way she communicate with people, especially her son.

Since the only "word" that can be uttered from her mouth is the "ahh" sound, it's not easy to understand what she's trying to tell us most of the time. I remembered once when she's instructing me to get something from the kitchen, I could not understand it until my granma comes and tells me what she's trying to say. It's weird that my granma could understand the sign language she gave, but I obviously do not.

On the other hand, the way she communicates with her son is very special too. Once, when I was in granma's house for the festive celebration, my cousin brother was late back home. (PS: My this aunt and her son are staying at my granma's house.) His mother, who is my aunt pulled him aside and I saw them start arguing. The way they argue is not really in words, but in sound. As a by-stander, I could not understand what both of them are "talking" to each other. All I can conclude is that they are arguing, from their face expressions and body languages. "Seems like aunty is scolding cousin brother", I told myself.

Somehow, this incident bothered me for a while. The bond between my aunt and her son was so strong and they can understand what each other is trying to say, without using languge and words! Though my cousin brother looks kinda naughty boy and does not listen to his mother, but I could tell that he actually loved her very much. This mother has brought him up with her own hands for so many years, and both of them had each other during their tough time. It's kinda touch to see how they communicate without words, but only with sounds and body languages, which most of the time others can't understand.

So, what can I conclude from the way of communication between my aunt and her son? Simple, communication does not really depend on words, but the people. Sometimes, even with words, we still can't really communicate with each other, don't we? Let's think about the way some of us communicate with our parents. Get what I mean now?
Thus, as the fortunate ones, let's use the gift we have - our speech and language - and communicate with the ones arround us, in a good and correct way, to show your love and care.
**wink**

=Yin Foong=

Practice vs Rehearse

There's one interesting article that i have read in Toastmaster magazine Nov 2004, written by Dave Zielinski, a freelance writer in New York and Minneapolis. He can be contacted at zskidoo@aol.com; and the tittle of the article is called 'Perfect Practice'.

As previous post i hav posted about overcoming PSP, now i shall be telling (quite) in depth the ways to be prepared in speeches. Well you see, you are given a time to practice your perfect speech; let's say maybe around 2 weeks (according to the foundation course timing), but you will be using less than 1 week to practice, or probably the last 3 days to nail your speech. That; is normal. Even i do that. Well, the thing is, despite any given hours, minutes, days, weeks or months, you will always have not enough of time. True? Oh, we understand you. I know what you are thinking about, we all are busy people.

Regardless how many time left for you before you were to do speech remember this:
Practise, Practice, Practice; then, Rehearse, Rehearse and Rehearse. Chant after me please;
Practise, Practise, Practice; then, Rehearse, Rehearse and Rehearse.

Sounds stupid, but this is the one you have to remember when you are preparing for your presentation.

What the difference between Practise and Rehearse?
Practice: You do it all the time from 8pm to the next 8am morning before you go to school. You keep on mantra-ing and remembering all the lines and texts everywhere you go; toilet, classes, dining table, under table, at the house garden, next to the washin machine; basically even when you are in your lalaland. You keep on practising on your speeches when you are busying with activities. It's not wrong; but it's not the only way to survive your speech. You may remember it, but you won't be good in delivering it.

Rehease: It combines the art of speaking and non-verbal communication. It's more, i will dare say, better than just practising. Well you see, when you are rehearsing, you are on your feet, standing and rehearse as if you are in front talking. You will be using your hand gestures, some eye contacts (with the plants, television or wink at fish in the aquarium), pacing and interacting with the AV equipments. When you are used to rehearsing, using a bit of movement here and there, eventually when you are up on stage (obviously you will be standing) and then you are begin with a smooth flow and every non-verbal communication of yours is under control. It is better if you are going to do presentation with visual aid, you can rehearse with your powerpoint to help you in it. Make sure your presentation is clear enough, not too long and it is easy to read and for you to tell.

Nevertheless, you should always revise after you hav practised and rehearse.

"Too often we overlook what we are going to say during practice, and under-work how we are going to say it during rehearsal. If it were only about the material, we could simply e-mail our presentations to audiences and have them e-mail any questions back."

Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Public Speaking Phobia

Are you having this symptoms:

1. Sweating (hands, legs, forehead, any parts of your body or the entire body)
2. Shaking knees and hands
3. Quivering voice (as if you just came out from an ice room)
4. Flushing (in your head especially)
5. Rapid heartbeat (you even can hear it in your ears)
6. Nausea
7. Or any other similar symptoms to it;

when you are facing a number of audiences in various places; class, lab, stage, etc? Then, it's obvious you are having PSP. Nope, not that kind of game devices, it's my own abbreviation of Public Speaking Phobia.

Yes, let's admit it loud and clear. It's most unlikely for you, me and almost everyone for not to have this little stage of fear. Oh come on, you can speak to your bunch of frens all the time; if you talk unintentionally. But if you are given a speech, a title, a limit of time, a venue and a bunch of frens + strangers to speak beforehand,it will be of course; the horrible experience to encounter.

But we all speak, one day or another coming soon, we will have to speak in front of a lot, a lot of people. Come to think again, let's see, if you can avoid story-telling competition in primary school, no way you can take your exams without doing oral. Ok, you may be ok after the oral time, you might then think you can survive in college/university. Then you are loaded with all kinds of assignments which require you to talk; in front of the class, worst still, in front of classes. Sounds pretty scary right? Eventually when you are up into career, you will need to go for interview, and you won't be sounding assured if you talked with a lot of erms and ahhs in between of the session. By the time you are getting married, well, you still need to give toast to your wedding guests. So, instead of formin the best strategies to avoid it, deal with it.

1. Before the Speech Day
Prepare, prepare, prepare! There's no way you cannot go up to the stage, talked and yet din't prepare anything in your mind, paper, PC, etc. Start to prepare early; think about your message clearly; start with a crappy ideas, write down a simple draft, until you can start with an outline. Organize your speech in timeline order, or at least in sequence. You, and the audience will able to remember if everything in order. Because the one of the biggest fear in PSP is "the fear of going blank", according to the researchers at the University of Manitoba. Next, 'write your speech like a every great speech, with a beginning, middle and an end'. Practice then, make it perfect with not only practice, but also rehearsing. What's the difference? I will elaborate further in my next post. After that, you must visualize that you you can and will be succesful in delivering your speech.

2. On the Speech Day
Choose the professional-looking and comfy clothing for you. When you are comfortable with yourself, you can be comfortable with anyone. Avoid traffic jams and being late. You not only being rude to others, you are wasting their and your time. Then sit at a quiet place in a room where you can relax. Take deep breaths (it really helps!); and each time inhale about 8 seconds before releasing it. According to science study, it tooks that long for the maximum oxygen content to get into your brain. Then clench your fist and release it; clench again and then release for several times until you think your shoulders are relax. Be positive thinking, and never, ever tell your audiences that you are nervous right now. When you are telling them, "err..ahh, to be frank, i'm..a..kinda..haha, you know,...nervous. Oh opps, sorry!...Good morning, ladies and gentlemen,..er sorry; good evening, ladies and gentlemen...", you are then tend to a) tell them you are nervous b) you are telling yourself to be nervous. Good luck then; because once you tell them this, you will make them aware that a) you are nervous b) to notice where is your nervousness; hence causing yourself to be panic when people are really paying attention to you. Speak slowly, clearly, and don't eat your own words. When people are nervous, their mouths will be dried up 3 times faster (my own experiences) and later they have no enough of saliva to help them to speak clearly. So drink plenty of water enough for you; 3 min before speech. If you do it 15 min or beyond, you will go to the bathroom pretty soon.

3. After the horrible experience @ finishing the speech
Wheewwww! It was quite an experience right? Most probably you will be ended up like a roasted chicken (due to flushing) with cold hands and feets. Once you finish, some of you won't think any further, but then most of you will think what the audiences are thinking of you, what the lecturer is thinking of you, and what you are thinking about yourself. YOu will begin something like this: "Oh shoot, i forgot the most important line; awww, i praticed and practiced for so many times but yet i have forgotten to mention it!" or "What did that guy with the red cap thinking of me when i spoke about that? Was he bored? He looked really bored, or was it just me?" etc. But hey, if you did your best, you know you can do it better next time. Ask your audiences + frens' opinions; and think and device ways to help you to improve on it.

Have a great public speaking!


Sources: The article: The Fear of Public Speaking:20 Ways to get over it! by Joann M. Mc Cabe, ATM-S, page 18-21, Toastmaster Magazine, April 2006.


Liew Hui Qing, Jaime

Friendship..

recently, i read an article that talks about friendship. It says, building a friendship is like how we plant a TREE. We need ......

T rust
R espect
E xchange
E motional support

It makes sense, doesn't it? We need many trust and respect in a relationship. We have to exchange everything in our life with the 'friends'. We have to provide emotional support to them whenever they need us. Building a relationship with a true friend is more than planting a tree. Lets cheers for the friendship we have~

Hand phones

in the olden days, the only way people could communicate with each other was by talking face to face. than came letters. but now hand phones do it ALL... you can call someone and even text them. messages go through immediately. you don't have to wait for a week before you get a message.. technology is great isn't it? the most popular way youngsters communicate these days is via sms. phone calls are seldom made these days.. one uses sms to convey a message and even express feelings to their loved ones ;) not many people have to guts to do it face to face anymore so they make use of technology. not only messaging n calls can be made with hand phone. lastest phones have many different features. pictures can be taken n songs can be heard.. the best part is you can send the songs n pictures to your friends via mms, bluetooth and infrared. thats really cool.

a kid at the age of 8 has a hand phone these days. during my time i had to wait till i was form 3. and the only reason i got my phone was because i had to use public transport to go for tuition. once i reached, i had to report to my parent. if not i would not have a phone till today. hehe.. bye byeee

-simren

Can We Lie?

Let's picture this: Your friend is asking for your opinion about her clothing one day. You looked from top-to-toe, and you think your friend is either color blind that day, or she simply lost her mind on combining that kind of clothes. What is your reply to her?

a) "Why are you wearing that? That clothes is soooooooo ugly!"

b) "Wow! You looked so different today!"

c) "Erm, i've never seen you wear this before. No one i see that has the kind of fashion as yours!"

d) "The tie doesnt match your shirt, your shirt doesnt blend with your pants, so are the belts. And why are you wearing that shoes?"

e) " I like your clothes! Look nice on you!"

Your answer: ________

For any of your reasons; most of you will be choosing option b. You want to save both your face and theirs. But the question is; are you lying?

Is it morally acceptable when we answer option b? We are not telling the truth, but we are not making up stories either. So, is it alright?

In a sense, (common sense, actually) lying means hiding someone from knowing the truth. Sometimes, we have no options but to not telling them the truth (yet). One example is when you are giving the bad news to your family members. We don't want to lie, but just that we are too soft-hearted that we don't want to let our loved one to be heart-broken. However, we can't be honest all the time. You simply don't say someone who is big-sized person a fat person, or a short person, a short person. It's unethical too. So whether white lies are acceptable are not, they are common and we practise it all the time.

How you will be answering your friend will be measured by few things first; the environment, how close are you with your friend, what the mood or usual behaviour of him/her?, etc.

Here is what i think:
Most people agree that honesty is the best communication and to have strong relationship. But in certain cases, people tend to be more straight-foward to new people they meet in their messengers or chat room and people whom they are not so close with rather than people whom they are close with. Because we take a great care of how our best friends or family or siblings are feeling. However, when two best friends or two siblings or couples or parent and child are arguing, they then tend to shoot out everything they are really thinking of the other person at each other.

Why we need to equivocate?
equivocate: to use ambiguous or unclear expressions, usually to avoid commitment or in order to mislead

The sense that we need to equivocate becomes clearer with this reason:

1) Avoid letting the receiver feeling embarrased.
2) Save your own face.
3) Less stresful for the sender than to tell the lie or the truth; you feel much more less guilty.
4) Save the sender from being caught for lying.

"Equivocation is niether a false message nor a clear truth, but rather an alternative used precisely when both of these are to be avoided." - A research team under a communication researcher, Sandra Metts.

So, it is easier for people to choose to equivocate whenever possible.There are still controversial issues on lying, equivocating or white lies are morally justified or not; whether it should be accepted or not. But let use this way before you reply your friend: Imagine how would others respond to your answer when they know what you are really thinking. Would they blame you for not telling the truth or not? If you have rationally balance between this two, then you can choose your options.

Now, go and tell your friend that answer!














a) "Why are you wearing that? That clothes is soooooooo ugly!"
Analysis: You are so mean, or you are in your bad mood, or he/she is ur really really good friend that doesn't care how you answer it anyway. =D

b) "Wow! You looked so different today!"
Analysis: This should be equivocal, but true message. Most people will choose this answer.

c) "Erm, i've never seen you wear this before. No one i see that has the kind of fashion as yours!"
Analysis: This should be equivocal, but false message.

d) "The tie doesnt match your shirt, your shirt doesnt blend with your pants, so are the belts. And why are you wearing that shoes? I don't like it at all."
Analysis: Clear, and true message.

e) " I like your clothes! Look nice on you!"
Analysis: Clear, but false message.

Sources: Understanding Human Communication, 9th Edition by Ronald B Roler, George Rodma; Malaysian & Singaporean Edition, www.dictionary.com

Road communication

When we're driving on the road, it's important we communicate. Obviously we can't speak to each other through the closed windows. Rationally speaking, there's always a way. In this case, we can use indicators in the cars.
Nowadays when drivers feel like changing lanes they just swurve without indicating that they want to change lanes. This happens mostly in Malaysia. Most Malaysian drivers are reckless and careless. Hence drive like maniacs on the roads. I don't mean to offend anyone, but it's fact. If we don't communicate with other drivers indicating when we're gonna change lanes, it can be catasthrophic. It's very important to turn on your signals to let others know where you're going. Better safe than sorry,no?
An example of Malaysian drivers' so called communication is : when they want other drivers to get out of the way, is by turning their high light on and off several times or in other words flashing ( not that flashing okay) This only works in malaysia. Did you know if you flash in Australia it means you're actually giving way to other drivers?
Besides that, another tradition only practiced in Malaysia is crossing roads without using the pedestrian crossing. All they have to do is put out their magic hands and cars will stop for them. If they did this overseas, they'd definately be honked at. It's actually illegal to cross the roads like that there. It's called j-walking. And you can get fined if you were caught.

Well I guess different countries practice different styles of communication on roads. Perhaps it's just ours. Anyway, all I'm saying is be safe. Be a responsible driver and a pedestrian. Remember, safety first!
Peace!

blogs

aloha.. I'm simren. this is the first time I'm blogging. never really found blogging interesting. now i don't have a choice but to do so. =) sorry sir hehe.

i read up a little bit about what blogs are. blogs are regular entries made online. in other words its like a diary. in a blog, people provide various types of information. such as news, videos, discussion on a particular subject and many other things. most blogs are personal. people tend to pour out their feelings in their blogs. i never knew there are so many types of blogs. some of the types of blogs are:

1. personal blogs

2. corporate blogs

3. question blogging

personal blogs

personal blogs are the most common blogs. personal blogs is a personal ongoing diary. personal bloggers put in a lot of effort in writing their blogs even though it is not read by people. it is somehow a sentimental value for them. this is because they express how they feel here. blogs for some individuals are like their 'buddies' but only thing is that these 'buddies' don't talk back. hehe. =p

corporate blogs

corporate blogs are mainly for businesses. its used to enhance the communication in a certain company. it is really useful when it comes to to branding, marketing or even public relations.

question blogging

question blogging involves questions which is pretty obvious. =) you can submit question form or even the telephone..

ok thats it for my first blog. bye byeee..

-simren


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog

Power

Last week, when I was doing the exercises in Ms. Selina's Advanced English handouts, one of the articles inside captured my attention. Yea.. I even told myself: "Yeah~ Another thing to write in the blog \(^o^)/ "

The article brieftly explains power - power that holds people together. Power by means of the authority given, the physical force, the influences, the mind power or will, and even love. Power connects people as power would not appear in only one individual. There must be more than one for it to happen. For example, parents have authority on their child. If there's no son or daughter for the couple, where goes the power? And, with this authority power, children are "shaped" to obey their elder ones naturally, and this had made the parents and children connected in one way.
Now, understand? Do you see the relationship between power and connections of people?

In the article, the author mentioned that, "Power is evident when love is involved, for indiviudals behave against their will simply to pleased their loved ones." I believe that most of us would agree with this. And, I also believe that everyone of us would somehow have this experience where you need to give up or to do something in order to satisfy others, or I should use the word-compromise.

Here's my own one:
Before Sem2 starts, I gotta decide what electives to take for the sem. After taking all the consideration, I took Human Comm and Finite Maths as my choices. My father was happy to know that I took Maths as one of my electives, but it was the opposite for Human Comm. He had been a great influence on me for my studies. He would always plan and decide for me. This time, I had chosen a subject that did not please him. He always wanted me to study more on Science and Mathematics subjects. Obviously, this is not! I explained that I would like to try and hopefully it will help me to make up my mind wether to pursue Psychology for my future degree. Initially he tried to use the "authority power" to stop me from taking the subject, but after learning that I have no sign of changing my mind, out of love and respect, he finally stopped to pull me away from taking this sub.
It used to be an impossible as my father influence was truly so great that I always felt that what he says and instructs will be the best for me. I guess, when children grow, the authority power of the parents of them will decrease. Though I believe that the situation will be difficult for the parents as they no longer can control that much, but out of love, they will accept it as they know their children need to learn to be independent and to take the resposibility out of their acts.

There are a lot to be learned and observed from power. As mentioned in the article, it should be an influence that people should use wisely, and not in an unproductive and negative way.

So, do you now see how power connects people? *wink*

=Yin Foong=

Resource:

Exercise 6 of Coordination and Parallel Structure, Advanced English, Selina Nalini Richards.

Continue....

lets continue my leadership camp stories.....



In one activity which i forgot what is its name,we were asked to go from station 1 to station 4 and back to the 'pondok' when we completed our task. It sounds easy but it did not when our eyes were sticked by something( i dont no what its name is ;it is something like stickers). Every team members has to reach to station and asked for a QC check. Gosh, my sense of direction is very very weak. let me tell you how weak it is.



That morning, we went back to the jungle for another 2 activities which challeged my physical strength. (Ouch, my hands' muscle agree with me.-.-'''' ) The time we finished the activities was 11 something. When we came out from the jungle, i ran although i was really exhausted. WHY?? because of the sun and i m a 'puteri lilin'. And the journey from the jungle to our resort was quite long. I rather died from exhaustion than melted under the sun. That is why i chose to run. I nearly went to the wrong road which means i might lost in the resort.-.-''' i was not supposed to turn right in the 1st junction but i did. Luckily, there was a gang of people who also ran behind me and they reminded me.



Back to the story, i had to lead my team members to reach the station in the situation where all of us were 'blind'.-.-''' Because of my weak sense of direction, i asked Sher Mann to lead us. Wow, he was the man. His sense of direction is just my opposite side. This activity required us to trust our team members and communicate with them. It was quite lost when you have to walk to the unknown place. So, we had to put all our trust on Sher Mann and the other members as we were holding our hands to keep us together. In the mean time, we had to remind them if there was trunk that might block their roads. When we reached each station, we had to put one of our hands on the landmark. So i let go of my member's hand as i had to hold the map in my left hand. (the map was for the instructor to make sure that we had reached the correct station) When we were moving on to another station, i were lost because i couldn't find the hand that i had been holding. Therefore i shouted. Then, one of my group member held my hand. What i try to say is a very simple non-verbal communication which is hand holding can give the basic trust and strength to people. It is amazing, isn't it??

To be continued.....

the Self

this Friday, i went to the HMC leadership camp at the Trolak resort in Perak. It was a very nice place for leadership camp. And i think that they treated us as pigs as they served us food every 2 hours...-.-''' The activity that impressed me was the SOLO DROP. It simply means solo=alone + drop=being left. So, we were left alone in a jungle at night for a period of time which i dont no how long was it as we were not allowed to bring anything with us. As you know, it was very torturing if you were asked to stand at there without moving to another place. So my only choice was to talk to the tree when i was really bored.=.='''' Of course, i did not do so. ( what if i heard any voice replied my conversation??-.-''') But, i nearly fall asleep as the environment is soooo comfortable. what excited me was I SAW FIREFLIES!!! Seriously, i never see a firefly in my lifetime. It was really very very small and u won't notice them if you did not see carefully.

Ok, after so many BLA BLA BLA, let's talk about what i had learnt from this activity. I actually got to know myself more .It was a perfect time and place for self-reflection. When i settled down and without being fear for I might be attacked by 'something' and captured by orang asli, my mind was very clear. And a question just poped up in my mind which i thought i had solved it long long ago. It made me realised that i did not solve it but ignored it at the past. I was very shocked and disappointed to myself. According to miss Debbie, the first person that comes into your mind when you are in that situation is the most important person to you or is troubling you. It was sad to know that the person is not my family member. I always thought that my family takes the most important place in my heart. I felt quite lost when ms Debbie was doing the briefing after our solo drop. i felt very uneasy when something is out of my control. I realised that i actually do not know about myself!!! OH... maybe i shall talk to myself several times a day...hahaha-.-''' this makes me realise the importance of intracommunication because it was freaking scary when you realised that the mind and soul that you have been living with for 18 years are something that you do not know.