Anger..

Are you angry today? Did someone/something pissed you off just now? Someone did irritate you? How did you response to the situation then? Did you punch that person on their face? Or you roared back at them? Or you just keep quiet while your mind is plotting for a superb revenge? Anger is an emotional state that may range from minor irritation to intense rage. Research has shown that when someone is in anger, there are some obvious sign: Heartbeat rate, blood pressure and adrenalin rate increases. These physiological effects that cause you to react towards anger; whether you response by action or verbally. What anger got to do with communication? Well, just about everything. Anger is a word, but words are mightier than swords sometimes. Here is one of the famous story on anger that i found:

A BAG OF NAILS

Once upon a time there was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he should hammer a nail in the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. But gradually, the number of daily nails dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.
Finally the first day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He proudly told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence.
"You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out, it won't matter how many times you say 'I'm sorry', the wound is still there."

So you see, anger isn't something that you can have and then just forget it only. It may have little effect on you, but to others; the impact may be much more deeper on them. Now, here's some ways to control your anger before you actually hurt the other person (verbally or non-verbally)

1. Count 1 to 10 slowly; or you take a deep and long breath slowly. While you are doing these, try to think anything that can calm you.

2. This is easy: Change your position.If you are angry when you are sitting, then stand up. If you are angry when you are standing, then sit down. The time taken to change your position actually helps because it can reduce your tension you are having on that time.

3. Think about consequences when you are about to reply the anger. When you are angry, you don't think about anything else. Your focus is that : You are angry; you need to tranfer your anger to cool down you. But what happens after that? People who always furious have higher risks in
a) Cancer and heart disease.
b) Weaken immune system
c) Shorten your life
d) Destroying or vandalizing people or things easier
e) Road accident or home accident
f) Being pushed away by friends and family.
So think of one consequence that really scares you. You may have your own consequences in your mind, but make sure it rilli makes you pause for that very moment.

So do you still feel angry right now?


Sources: http://www.wikipedia.com/anger ;
Kuntum Magazine May 2002 ;
http://buddhism.kalachakranet.org/anger.html

p/s: if you still feeling angry rite: go take a bath or do an exercise. If you need mentally working, you can ask yourself; why am i so angry at this person/thing? Worth it or not if i waste my energy on this person/ thing? Maybe it will work. If everything that has been mentioned here and out there doesn't work for you, maybe it's time for you to consult a therapist.