Since its nearing midterm exams, I guess I'll share an interesting story that I'm sure most people have gone through before in high school. It's about cheating during exams. Nowadays, most high school students cheat during exams. I'm not saying all but most. Ofcourse I was one of them. During my highschool days I was one of those students who would communicate with friends during exams. It's not just about copying another person, it's more of the thrill of communicating without getting caught.
To clarify something, I don't like copying so you don't have to keep an eye on me during exams Mr. Murali! =P Mostly I'm the one who supply answers. Anyway, it's hard to copy for essays and short answer questions,however, it's not impossible but it's easy to copy for MCQ. And ofcourse I've never been caught copying or supplying answers. Here's how we'd do it :
Before the exam, we would come up with different signs and ways of determining different alphabets for MCQ. Important note * We never use the same signs for the next papers* It's to avoid suspicion. If the teacher notices us doing the same thing for every exam then they'd know our devious schemes. Some examples are:
1. We'd either scratch our head for 'A', stretch backwards for 'B', drop a pencil for 'C' or yawn for 'D'.
2. Tap on different corners of the table for different letters.
3. Using other creative signs for diffrent letters.
4. We've even tried SMS-ing each other. Cool right. Sms-ing is usually for short answer questions.
5. Some people actually hid tiny notes or wrote on the table. Usually they'd hide books in the toilets.
But as time goes by the teachers got smarter and always checked our tables and toilets for notes. Haha. By the way, I'm not encouraging copying. I'm just saying that we communicate for different reasons and well, inevitably cheating is one of them. Well, before you conclude that I'm a useless student, I don't like copying just to be on top of the class. There's no point in getting good grades if you didn't put any effort in studying. I like making stupid signs to my friends because I get bored easily and I just can't sit still without doing anything for hours. Plus, its fun and exciting and certainly a normal human reaction to do something when someone says you can't. In this case, it's fun to talk and turn our heads during exams when we are told to sit still. Anyway, good luck for exams!
-Peace-
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Right Speech!!!!
Yesterday when i was reading a blog, one of the passage in the blog reminded me of my friend's problem. She is having problems with her boyfriend. Maybe because they are too close to each other, the boyfriend starts to be very 'honest' to his girlfriend. Note that i am not trying to say being honest to your girlfriend is not good, but you should be able to choose what can be said. A few months ago, her boyfriend's ex had broken up with her boyfriend. Then she turned to my friend's boyfriend to talk. And very 'luckily', my friend saw their msn conversation which caused them to have a small fight. My friend actually asked him if they were not together, would he be together with his ex again?? Then her boyfriend answered 'SURE!!!' This happened a few months ago. Recently, her boyfriend starts to compare she and his ex. For example, 'both of you like to drink this or both of you like to....' So, do any girlfriend can stands her boyfriend keep mentioning his ex in front of her?? What i am trying to say is a correct speech is very important to maintain a relationship. Maybe you are not meant to hurt the person beside you, but one man's meat can be another person's poison! A word can make a big difference in a relationship.
The passage from the blog is as follow:
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A woman and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily!>Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."
She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
The passage from the blog is as follow:
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A woman and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily!>Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school."
On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker."
She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
baby communication
babies! as a baby starts to form in its mothers stomach, communication starts.. how is this possible? all mothers talk to their soon to be born child. it starts from the very beginning. once the baby is born, the mother talks to her child but she does not get any response. babies communicate in a different way.. as we no the famous GU GU GA GA. =)
how do babies communicate??? babies are born with the ability to cry.. that's the way they communicate. when babies cry, its an indication that something is wrong. they could be hungry, feeling cold, wet bottom etc.. crying is not the only way they communicate.. babies smile.. when they smile, it shows they are happy. everyone loves to see a baby smile and laugh.. after a few months, the baby starts to make sounds. and eventually they start to say a few words.. from then on communication between the baby and parents will be much easier.. its really interesting how this works..
-simren
how do babies communicate??? babies are born with the ability to cry.. that's the way they communicate. when babies cry, its an indication that something is wrong. they could be hungry, feeling cold, wet bottom etc.. crying is not the only way they communicate.. babies smile.. when they smile, it shows they are happy. everyone loves to see a baby smile and laugh.. after a few months, the baby starts to make sounds. and eventually they start to say a few words.. from then on communication between the baby and parents will be much easier.. its really interesting how this works..
-simren
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Perception
I know.. It's one of those perception-blogs AGAIN! Yes, I know many of us have written the same thing, but I have just discovered my story to write and I gotta write it down! Sighh.. Seems like we, human always perceive people, right?
My story goes like this..
Last Saturday, my family and I went to Genting for a one-day-trip. After having our dinner at the Theme Park Hotel, my aunt, my younger sister and I went to the toilet. While I was washing my hands, I saw one "guy" walked in. You might wonder "guy?!". Yup, that girl was 99.99% looked like a he rather than a she! What I did was only glanced at her once, and I walked out from the toilet and went back to the restaurant, leaving my sis and my aunt behind.
Minutes later, my aunt and my sis were backed to their seats too. Seconds after settling down, my aunt quickly tell my mom that she saw a guy in the toilet. I interrupted their conversation by saying: "No lar~ That's a girl!" "But that fellow looked like a guy!" "It's a girl lar!!", I was pretty sure that the "guy" my aunt mentioned is actually a girl. My aunt replied, "Well, she looks like a boy.. And, I thought she was..".
After the meal, my family walked out from the restaurant. Suddenly, my little brother grabbed my hand and said: "Jie~(PS: Jie is a Chinese word which means elder sister:)) Look! Two guys..". He was pointing to a couple who are holding hands, passing by in front of us. "The red shirt fellow is a girl lar!!", I repeated the same whole thing that I've told my aunt. My dad was in shock too after knowing the "guy" was actually a girl. Well, actually my whole family, except for my sister and I, were shocked to know that they have perceived someone.
Wondering why don't my elder sister and I have the same perception as my other family members do? Simply because we have seen many girls dressing like guys in our secondary school life! (PS: Both of us studied in a girl secondary school which have quite a number of students who are short hair, wear only T-shirt and jeans, dislike skirts and make ups etc. Some people called them 'Tom-boy', which I think is a very rude way of perceiving others.) And, because of this, we tend to not perceive these people wrongly as we understand that this is their way of dressing. Well, in my opinion, people that are from girl schools like us can differentiate better between girls who are in guys' outfit and guys who have 'girl-ly' kinda looking. *wink*
My conclusion is: We should not perceive others, but most of the time we do!
I think, somehow, this is the way our society works. Like what Liza mentioned in her last blog entry: The way we perceive others or vice versa defines the way we communicate with each other.
=Yin Foong=
My story goes like this..
Last Saturday, my family and I went to Genting for a one-day-trip. After having our dinner at the Theme Park Hotel, my aunt, my younger sister and I went to the toilet. While I was washing my hands, I saw one "guy" walked in. You might wonder "guy?!". Yup, that girl was 99.99% looked like a he rather than a she! What I did was only glanced at her once, and I walked out from the toilet and went back to the restaurant, leaving my sis and my aunt behind.
Minutes later, my aunt and my sis were backed to their seats too. Seconds after settling down, my aunt quickly tell my mom that she saw a guy in the toilet. I interrupted their conversation by saying: "No lar~ That's a girl!" "But that fellow looked like a guy!" "It's a girl lar!!", I was pretty sure that the "guy" my aunt mentioned is actually a girl. My aunt replied, "Well, she looks like a boy.. And, I thought she was..".
After the meal, my family walked out from the restaurant. Suddenly, my little brother grabbed my hand and said: "Jie~(PS: Jie is a Chinese word which means elder sister:)) Look! Two guys..". He was pointing to a couple who are holding hands, passing by in front of us. "The red shirt fellow is a girl lar!!", I repeated the same whole thing that I've told my aunt. My dad was in shock too after knowing the "guy" was actually a girl. Well, actually my whole family, except for my sister and I, were shocked to know that they have perceived someone.
Wondering why don't my elder sister and I have the same perception as my other family members do? Simply because we have seen many girls dressing like guys in our secondary school life! (PS: Both of us studied in a girl secondary school which have quite a number of students who are short hair, wear only T-shirt and jeans, dislike skirts and make ups etc. Some people called them 'Tom-boy', which I think is a very rude way of perceiving others.) And, because of this, we tend to not perceive these people wrongly as we understand that this is their way of dressing. Well, in my opinion, people that are from girl schools like us can differentiate better between girls who are in guys' outfit and guys who have 'girl-ly' kinda looking. *wink*
My conclusion is: We should not perceive others, but most of the time we do!
I think, somehow, this is the way our society works. Like what Liza mentioned in her last blog entry: The way we perceive others or vice versa defines the way we communicate with each other.
=Yin Foong=
Conflict-ation
The text book "Understanding Human Communication, 9th Edition" by Ronald B. Adler and George Rodman told almost everything on conflicts: Characteristics, What Causes and the Effects, What type of conflicts, how to identify conflicts, how to solve conflicts, how to avoid conflicts; but they din touch on the most important part in conflict: What to do if everything stated in the book fails? Nope, it's not your problem, it's not the author problem, but sometimes, somehow, you will bump into a person who just simply won't negotiate you. Ahaa! I have found an interesting article on helping to overcome this situation if it happens to you (God forbade).
Of there is 5 ways to identify styles of conflict and 5 ways of knowing characteristics of an assertive message, then you have 5 ways to do if 'they simply won't negotiate with you'.
1.Don't React (First).
Step back and then look at the whole big picture. Identify your interests and just focus on your goal. Don't get mad, don't get even, just negotiate for what you want.
2. Step to Their Side
What if you are wrong even at the first place? So you must listen actively and try to agree when you can. You have to please them first before you can get what you want. Once they are pleased, everything are much easier to do. Acknowledge your opponents, his/her views and feelings. Try to express your views without provoking and then create a favorable climate for negotiation. Maybe invite them for lunch or dinner, or treat them a nice cup of cold cappucino (because you won't want a hot one to be split on your face if everything doesn't goes your way).
3. So they don't still on their opinions, you are still on yours'.
Change the way of playing it. Ask problem solving questions. Ask them for advice if possible. The questions will be "Why?", "Why not?", "What if?" If both of you can see that which questions better suit for the answers, head for it. As long everything make more sense than the others, who who cares it's who's ideas?
4. Make it easy to say "YES".
Sounds quite easy, but it's actually tough. You will have to get around the obstacles by involving your opponents. You will have to satisfy your opponent's unment interests and help your opponent save face. Do it slow, but surely.
5. Make it hard to say "NO".
This is the tricky part. You must know the consequences; let your opponent know the consequences. What if you don't go this way, then the most distrastrous outcome will be. Both of you must understand that mutual satisfaction is more important than victory.
Sources: Options Unlimited (1991) Adapted from Getting Past No by William Ury.
Liew Hui Qing (Jaime)
Of there is 5 ways to identify styles of conflict and 5 ways of knowing characteristics of an assertive message, then you have 5 ways to do if 'they simply won't negotiate with you'.
1.Don't React (First).
Step back and then look at the whole big picture. Identify your interests and just focus on your goal. Don't get mad, don't get even, just negotiate for what you want.
2. Step to Their Side
What if you are wrong even at the first place? So you must listen actively and try to agree when you can. You have to please them first before you can get what you want. Once they are pleased, everything are much easier to do. Acknowledge your opponents, his/her views and feelings. Try to express your views without provoking and then create a favorable climate for negotiation. Maybe invite them for lunch or dinner, or treat them a nice cup of cold cappucino (because you won't want a hot one to be split on your face if everything doesn't goes your way).
3. So they don't still on their opinions, you are still on yours'.
Change the way of playing it. Ask problem solving questions. Ask them for advice if possible. The questions will be "Why?", "Why not?", "What if?" If both of you can see that which questions better suit for the answers, head for it. As long everything make more sense than the others, who who cares it's who's ideas?
4. Make it easy to say "YES".
Sounds quite easy, but it's actually tough. You will have to get around the obstacles by involving your opponents. You will have to satisfy your opponent's unment interests and help your opponent save face. Do it slow, but surely.
5. Make it hard to say "NO".
This is the tricky part. You must know the consequences; let your opponent know the consequences. What if you don't go this way, then the most distrastrous outcome will be. Both of you must understand that mutual satisfaction is more important than victory.
Sources: Options Unlimited (1991) Adapted from Getting Past No by William Ury.
Liew Hui Qing (Jaime)
Group and You..
Here's another interesting article that i have found in Toastmaster Magazine; March 2006 on managing your teams. Well, in almost every courses available in foundation, there are at least one group assignment per subject, right? Sometimes you are lucky to be given a priority to choose your group partners, but sometimes you are not. That's where everyone thinks so. However, sometimes, even when you are 'lucky' to choose your own groups, when you are facing conflicts within the group, you couldn't complain to your lecturers, because this is what they(most of them) will say: "I have given you this priority to choose your own groups. You choose your own group members, you deal with your own members yourself." On the other hand, don't really think you can blame the lecturers when they assigned you to different members you don't know. Because this is what they will say "This is life. Deal with it." Strange, but true. So, in short, either way, you couldn't complain. (well, you could, but lecturer don't really bother to help you, unless it is a serious case) You will sail smoothly in your foundation year if you met and teamed up with really, seriously, nice and hardworking members. But if you are not, then, deal with it one way or another. However, the whole group is entitled to one project. Either we work together or we work separately together, it's still a group in the end. It's a dependent situation which we have to bear, not just in your foundation, but later on in your degree and your postgraduates, works, and basically; life. But what causes that really bring your team down?
1. There is no trust in anyone in the group.
You don't trust that guy to do his work, you don't let him DO it. That girl may be dissatisfied with your work, then she changed your work (which you do it with your blood, sweat and tears) without your permission. That is when conflicts arise. There's no trust element in your groups. To bring up the trust element, you must first be open and be honest. If there's something not right in their work (or maybe them), voice it out in proper way (apply the chapter 7 in maintaining relationship). When people are truly comfortable being exposed to one other, they will begin to do their parts eventually.
2. Hate conflicts to happen in the group.
Everyone hates conflicts. It is a group assignment, you have your best friend in it. You don't wan to create arguments (what more a conflict) with him/her, thus in the end the team will be ended up with the same problems again and again. Therefore, when problems arise, deal with it quickly before the problems turn into a major barrier for your group assignments. This way, your group members and you will not be bothered by the problems.
3. Lack of commitment.
This always, and most fearful one (i guess) by any members especially when you are assigned to a strange bunch of members. However, the real cause of lacking commitments can be solved when each members are given opportunity to voice out and to be heard of. Other ways to make the member committed, well; make sure they understand that cooperation must be done in order to achieve a satisfactory results. (e.g. to pass/credit/distinction/high distinction in the subject)When everyone in the group is committed, it is pretty difficult for the team to have bad results. At least, if you din't get the results expected, you know you are great team members, because you are IN the team.
4. Avoiding accountability
You are trying to be nice here. You are afraid to call your friend to do extra work because you scared that your friend will be unhappy and everything suddenly falls apart. Patrick Lecioni (a management consultant and author of the bestselling book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, A Leadership Fable) said "Ironically, this only causes the relationship to deteriorate, as team members begin to resent one another for not living up to expectations and for allowing standards to erode". Which means that, if you have everything to be done by youself, others might think that you think that they are not capable of doing the work.
5. Inattention to results
Which means, "I don't care how the end product of this assignment will be" and some sort examples that are align with the sentence. In contrast, some members may place their individual needs above your team's true goal. Unfortunately, when this element appears in your group, the other 4 elements come about.
Liew Hui Qing (Jaime)
1. There is no trust in anyone in the group.
You don't trust that guy to do his work, you don't let him DO it. That girl may be dissatisfied with your work, then she changed your work (which you do it with your blood, sweat and tears) without your permission. That is when conflicts arise. There's no trust element in your groups. To bring up the trust element, you must first be open and be honest. If there's something not right in their work (or maybe them), voice it out in proper way (apply the chapter 7 in maintaining relationship). When people are truly comfortable being exposed to one other, they will begin to do their parts eventually.
2. Hate conflicts to happen in the group.
Everyone hates conflicts. It is a group assignment, you have your best friend in it. You don't wan to create arguments (what more a conflict) with him/her, thus in the end the team will be ended up with the same problems again and again. Therefore, when problems arise, deal with it quickly before the problems turn into a major barrier for your group assignments. This way, your group members and you will not be bothered by the problems.
3. Lack of commitment.
This always, and most fearful one (i guess) by any members especially when you are assigned to a strange bunch of members. However, the real cause of lacking commitments can be solved when each members are given opportunity to voice out and to be heard of. Other ways to make the member committed, well; make sure they understand that cooperation must be done in order to achieve a satisfactory results. (e.g. to pass/credit/distinction/high distinction in the subject)When everyone in the group is committed, it is pretty difficult for the team to have bad results. At least, if you din't get the results expected, you know you are great team members, because you are IN the team.
4. Avoiding accountability
You are trying to be nice here. You are afraid to call your friend to do extra work because you scared that your friend will be unhappy and everything suddenly falls apart. Patrick Lecioni (a management consultant and author of the bestselling book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team, A Leadership Fable) said "Ironically, this only causes the relationship to deteriorate, as team members begin to resent one another for not living up to expectations and for allowing standards to erode". Which means that, if you have everything to be done by youself, others might think that you think that they are not capable of doing the work.
5. Inattention to results
Which means, "I don't care how the end product of this assignment will be" and some sort examples that are align with the sentence. In contrast, some members may place their individual needs above your team's true goal. Unfortunately, when this element appears in your group, the other 4 elements come about.
Liew Hui Qing (Jaime)
Friday, October 3, 2008
Rain melts( A Becca Fox Poem)
This is a story of two people in love. How they communicate and show their love for each other. She writes him a lovely poem. It's really sweet. Indicating what she wants to do with him. They can go dancing =) I assume they both like to dance as she wrote it in the poem. Perhaps one would like to do what the other half likes in any kind of weather-be it rain or snow. Anyway, he takes the poem and turns it into a song. He sings what she wrote to send back the message to her. His beautiful voice is so mesmerizing that I think any girl can undertsand the message just by listening to his voice. It's interesting how people communicate in different ways. In this case, one writes her love while he voices his. I picked up the video on Youtube. Enjoy!
-peace-
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